Zero to a hundred real fast

By Ron - 09/02/2026 12:00

Today, I asked the girl I’m seeing to make me some chicken soup because I was sick. She replied, “If you’re sick, go to the doctor. I’m not doing wifey shit if you’re not gonna make me a wife, let alone a girlfriend.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 492

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By chickennoodlesoup - 21/05/2009 01:50 - Canada

Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 178

You deserved it 6 383

By tooflufoschool - 14/10/2009 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 901

You deserved it 5 539

By samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 4 386

Smart kid

By outsmarted by a 5/yo - 10/05/2021 04:00

Today, since my daughter refuses to eat any kind of soup whatsoever, I asked her "What are you gonna do when you’re on a date?" She replied with, "Uh...not order soup?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 1 948

Man flu

By Anonymous - 28/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I'm horribly sick with a stomach bug. My wife insists on yelling for my help every fifteen minutes, saying, "If you want kids, you better get used to this. They don't just go away when you're sick." When she's sick, however, she expects to be treated like a princess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 149

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 386

Big Baby

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 00:30

Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 319

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 321

You deserved it 310

By ZPyRoGoDz - 30/10/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 496

You deserved it 2 567

By bertiebeth - 02/08/2014 05:35 - Australia - Padstow

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 816

You deserved it 4 035

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 10 February 2026 0:25

Smart woman.

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 10 February 2026 0:25

Smart woman.

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The Top

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 350

You deserved it 3 725

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 005

You deserved it 3 482

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 47 994

You deserved it 5 636

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 741

You deserved it 7 435

Today, a stranger told me, “You have a great personality!” I thought it was a sweet compliment until they added, “…because your face could absolutely use some work.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 89

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 51 017