Alcohol, Cars Miscellaneous Why would I do that to me?

Why would I do that to me?

car keyer - 02/12/2013 06:41 - United States - Mary Esther

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

20 783

54 816

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

42 161

9 770

Overreaction

anonymous - 02/06/2013 05:20 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

51 755

15 869

Adding insult to injury

Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

29 460

4 078

MC Turtledick - 15/02/2012 01:28 - United States

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

29 762

2 169

chevysprint - 28/02/2010 05:36 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

11 422

33 402

seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

12 130

3 185

wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

55 062

2 722

uppiskalle - 12/09/2014 14:32 - United States - Riverside

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

22 574

45 747

Angry much?

NeedANewWindshield - 24/08/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

1 632

102

Ninja move

kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

11 080

39 677

siberianhamster 17

Monday 2 December 2013 16:12

YDI, twice over for trying to drive.

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Monday 2 December 2013 16:12

At least you couldn't drive!!

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 2 December 2013 19:44

YDI. I'm glad this happened. be thankful you couldn't get into your car!

poncho55 40

Monday 2 December 2013 19:45

YDI so much on so many levels.

asylumlane 23

Monday 2 December 2013 19:45

You definitely deserved it. There's no reason to get so wasted that you couldn't unlock your car. And being that drunk, driving should be the last thing you should be doing. If you can't handle your alcohol, take a frigging cab!

stoych 19

Monday 2 December 2013 20:14

I know you're in the US but here in the UK if you are seen getting into the drivers side with keys the police can arrest you for intention to drive whilst under the influence. There are too many deaths these days from drunk drivers both innocent and guilty party. For that reason you deserved it but for your sake I'm glad you (and the general public) are safe. Lesson learned I hope!