Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
Today I slipped on a patch of ice I couldn't see, spilling the groceries I was carrying everywhere. Strangely, despite landing on my left knee, I didn't get a bruise there; my left butt cheek hurt though. Apparently, falling forward can still have you pull muscles. I pulled a butt cheek muscle slipping on ice. FML
Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I called complaints for my internet provider because, again, it's slowed to a crawl that would make dial-up laugh. They said that I live in a remote area, so maintenance is difficult. When I pointed out I only live ten minutes from the nearest city, they responded by saying they're my only option, so tough. FML
Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML
Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML
omg what a little smart ass!
BURRRRN some calories.