Kids: What have you done?

What have you done?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 84

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 397

You deserved it 9 826

Not the brightest star

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 173

Doofus

By Pete - 28/09/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 414

By Jen - 26/11/2018 07:30 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 464

You deserved it 277

By Singed - 04/07/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 378

You deserved it 43 650

Constant surveillance

By mister fixit? more like mister fuxit - 25/11/2024 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 271

Idiots, idiots everywhere

By Annon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 160

You deserved it 2 560

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 649

You deserved it 3 072

Cartoons ruining the kids

By sally - 04/11/2018 12:00

Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 140

You deserved it 364

Never again

By Lex - 21/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 450

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 12 April 2025 10:33

Now you make him pay for it. Either garnish his pocket money or if he's old enough, make him get a part time job. I'm Gen X. We did a whole lot of seriously crazy shit but we knew NOT to **** with things like flour and fire in the house because it goes BOOM. If he's going to be like this, sit him down and make him watch Mythbusters while he's grounded. He can enjoy the fun vicariously and learn the lessons without having to explain anything to the insurance company.

roryab 8

Monday 14 April 2025 7:03

millitary school have them train him as an army core engineer then he can do what he loves and be far away from your house win win

Comments

FluffythePink 23

Saturday 12 April 2025 10:33

GoogieWithers 23

Saturday 12 April 2025 18:31

No need to save for college then.

poopface82 23

Saturday 12 April 2025 19:30

Either he ends up in prison or a YouTube millionaire. There is no in between.

roryab 8

Monday 14 April 2025 7:03

millitary school have them train him as an army core engineer then he can do what he loves and be far away from your house win win

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 20 April 2025 4:37

How old is your son? If he's old enough to handle fireworks, he's old enough to know where they DON'T belong. Anywhere in the house falls on that list. That goes double for putting it inside flour inside the house.