Geek: Trigger

Trigger

By OhaiiKid - 07/03/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 491

You deserved it 26 072

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Same thing different taste

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 806

You deserved it 6 781

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 419

You deserved it 3 128

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 634

You deserved it 7 940

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 965

You deserved it 47 338

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 570

You deserved it 29 196

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 090

You deserved it 1 207

Badass

By Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 084

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 635

You deserved it 48 178

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 02:04 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 463

You deserved it 7 687

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 704

You deserved it 71 119

astro_plastic 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:27

Little do they know, their printer is actually Optimus Prime.

shorty1989 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:18

wow paranoid!

Comments

Atypical_teen 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 16:17

ahhhh thats sucks man I know if you grew up around guns you know what one being loaded sounds like that sound would scare the shit out of me in the dark too

uxoriouswidow 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 16:27

An actual gunshot must seem like a nuclear weapon to you.

uxoriouswidow 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 16:31

As is abundantly clear, I misread this FML.

bezach 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 17:03

I always feel like, sombodys watching me( I got no privacy)

AlixAlexAlax 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 17:06

Lol I can totally relate to this FML haha Awesome

jcfan101 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 17:11

awwwuh ! ):

greatnt249 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 17:23

Gotta be honest...I have never, ever heard a printer sound like a slide being racked or a shotgun being pumped. You must either have a) no clue what loading a gun sounds like, b) be paranoid as hell, or c) a printer I have to hear for myself to judge.