Intimacy: Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 676

You deserved it 22 531

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 664

You deserved it 61 921

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 141

You deserved it 22 222

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 651

You deserved it 1 208

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 59 128

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 4 456

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 5 590

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 593

You deserved it 3 081

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 561

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 677

You deserved it 6 206

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 18 708

Shemp_5 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:56

Dont ask, dont tell...

ScottVining 21

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:57

You sorta had that comin haha

Comments

royal_ranger 12

Monday 1 December 2014 0:57

Worth it.

mccrightp 29

Monday 1 December 2014 1:05

Looks like you got hit in the eye on that one.

playmonty 9

Monday 1 December 2014 1:15

You are aware of the rule of 3, right?

thelastwindadept 6

Monday 1 December 2014 1:15

"...in a row!?"

Thunderprime29 4

Monday 1 December 2014 1:43

The real FML here is spelling practicing: Practising

worldclassrager 39

Monday 1 December 2014 1:50

I saw that one coming

vikky538 28

Monday 1 December 2014 1:55

what answer did you expect... "honey I practissd it on my *****...."

CrazyMelvin 14

Monday 1 December 2014 2:36

YDI for asking. Never ask those types of questions

wvcheesehead 13

Monday 1 December 2014 2:55

As long as it was not earlier that day... no biggie.

ndaguanno 17

Monday 1 December 2014 3:20

Truth hurts

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The Top

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 131

Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 182

Today, I was laid off on the day I was about to put in an offer on a house. This company promised me the world, and I broke myself working to prove my worth. Turns out, I wasn't getting paid for the lunches and breaks I didn't take either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 187

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 695

You deserved it 4 982

Today, I was using a disabled toilet. I'm disabled partly because of spinal problems. While I was doing my business, the whole toilet fell to the floor, leaving me sitting in a puddle of my own urine and smashed porcelain, with even more spinal problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 511

You deserved it 114

Today, my boss sent me this reel where a girl was talking about how girls call their crushes bro. He asked me if that was true and somehow I replied, “Yes bro.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 872

Same thing different taste

John Coltrane

Timing

Over and out

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