Miscellaneous: Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there...

By ashley - 30/04/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 269

You deserved it 28 598

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Same thing different taste

Forever solo

By xoxo96 - 03/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 460

You deserved it 5 111

By maisie - 22/11/2018 22:00

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 595

You deserved it 34 965

Pranking hell!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Quebec

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 046

You deserved it 4 364

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 04:00

Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 116

Not now

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 18:01 - United States - Morganville

Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 174

By Anza - 29/06/2011 06:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 159

You deserved it 59 434

MY wedding, MINE

By chumpslolo - 25/07/2013 10:55 - United States - Vandalia

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 650

You deserved it 4 005

By alsayslegit - 25/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 215

You deserved it 21 491

Goof

By Anonymous - 06/07/2012 10:42 - United States

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 657

You deserved it 3 550

Kamazar 0

Friday 1 May 2009 2:38

"The snickers won't stop leaping into my mouth. FML"

Vincenzo_fml 1

Friday 1 May 2009 2:47

Being too heavy isn't always the result of being too fat, look at me, I'm 6' tall and about 230 lbs, but I also hit the gym anywhere from 4 - 6 times a week. Muscle has a higher density than fat, as such, it makes you heavier than you appear to be.

Comments

idanhaife 0

Friday 1 May 2009 8:08

#90 im israeli and i also do not know why are we fighting... or at least how it all started... i do know why we are fighting now... now its more like each side defending himself... kinda u kill me ill kill u kind of idea... we are close and related but unfortunately this will never be solved :( ppl say that if we all started holding hands and being all accepting and it will just all stop and go away and i do wish it was like that but we live in a world that forgiving and forgetting is something that we all seriously lack. generations will pass and ppl will change but the views will not because everyday that this shit is goin down where both side suffer just worsen the situation... i wish we lived in perfect world but we dont... this situation will never change unfortunately

idanhaife 0

Friday 1 May 2009 8:09

oh and btw... lol that sucks bro

subtlelimeshot 0

Friday 1 May 2009 8:10

cuz your a jew. jaykay jews are cool

SickOrSane 0

Friday 1 May 2009 8:17

So you weigh more than your father?

0 3

Friday 1 May 2009 9:05

I'm pretty sure that chair thing happens at weddings and not bat mitzvahs.

mattmag 0

Friday 1 May 2009 9:32

At least you can move to the south, tell people you're a fat Jew, and they'll be mildly intrigued. My friend did this when he moved to Mississippi, and he became the most popular guy in town!

illuminati_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 10:00

jewish people are the scum of the earth and shouldn't celebrate the birth of ANOTHER piece of shit jew defiling our planet. therefore, the inability to lift your fat kike ass into the air is nothing more than an act of karma. please die violently and take atleast 5 more of your kind with you.

ilovemycats 0

Friday 1 May 2009 10:21

I always wondered what happened at Jewish weddings if the bridge/groom were too fat to be lifted.

FdUp195 0

Friday 1 May 2009 10:56

Better than what I did. At my barmitzvah, i fell off! :$

ohhhhshizzz 0

Friday 1 May 2009 12:54

#99: "i work in a kosher ice cream store. soooo many fat jews are regular customers. and they are loud, rude, and demanding and never tip. YDI it you fat kike." First, get a REAL job. Second, if you don't like your usual customers get a ******* new job. Third, not all jews are fat, nor loud. Stop stereotyping people and generalizing people. Fourth & lastly, go play in some got damn traffic if you are going to be racist you son of a bitch. @OP: Wow that sucks ass fat, seriously. Maybe they were just REALLY week and your sister super skinny because I can see that happening.