Health: Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out,...

By taydean - 26/05/2011 21:31 - United States

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 275

You deserved it 66 631

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By NaniNarcotic - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 970

You deserved it 74 295

By Krystyn Gareau - 09/09/2011 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 110

You deserved it 13 713

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 14:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 477

You deserved it 7 816

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 23:18 - United States

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 735

You deserved it 21 329

By lulabell - 19/05/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 257

You deserved it 43 963

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 04:00

Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 297

Doorman

By shit - 26/01/2014 18:20 - United States - South Holland

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 122

You deserved it 46 825

Slapstick

By That Dumbass Friend - 28/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 840

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 180

Pranks are terrible

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Humble

Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 86

dreamering 16

Friday 27 May 2011 0:59

I think # 3 was behind the door.

Jorcar 8

Friday 27 May 2011 0:53

Way to be random.

Comments

Shinygirlnz 1

Friday 27 May 2011 6:04

OP doesn't know what funny is. Funny is seeing someone fall on their ass. Funny ISN'T kicking a door and yelling something stupid.

Asheybutt 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:20

Well on the bright side the fall was probably more funny than your original plan!

TinaMarie21 4

Friday 27 May 2011 6:31

Your comment :you're not funny. And that movie blows.

armorf0r 7

Friday 27 May 2011 6:35

you're just not epic enough to pull off that stunt.

baseballfreak1 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:40

that is just embarassing if I was you I would work on my cordnation

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:49

Unless you are kicking something into an endless abysmal hole; you'll always fall on your ass.

isac1234 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:49

wow ?

ADub55 0

Friday 27 May 2011 6:51

you should get out more...

kasumii 1

Friday 27 May 2011 6:52

You deserve it for eating at Wendy's. No wonder why Americans have the stereotype fat image.

Deadzombie 2

Friday 27 May 2011 16:15

just because you eat rice all the time doesn't mean everyone in America is fat. suck it slanted eyes

quadder 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:23

jealous of the skinny kid lol

Tracy_Evans 2

Friday 27 May 2011 7:10

hmm, perhaps a fellow MLIAer?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 3 021

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I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 117 735

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I agree, your life sucks 47 190

You deserved it 8 551

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 258

You deserved it 4 027

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 259

You deserved it 4 315

Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 849

You deserved it 5 481