Intimacy: Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually...

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 642

You deserved it 7 241

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 834

You deserved it 37 559

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 896

You deserved it 404

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 18:00

Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 328

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 315

You deserved it 93 970

Judgy

By distressed - 17/03/2015 12:00 - Australia - Burwood

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 6 983

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 531

Eyebleach

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 513

You deserved it 2 602

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 1 798

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 240

You deserved it 4 191

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 137

deliciouskaek 1

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:42

That's not okay. That is seriously NOT okay. Verbal abuse, FTL.

spiffles 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:46

I'm pretty sure that making out does not = slutty.

Comments

Amkii 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:35

Making out with a boy? You're beggin' for a rapin'! You sick, aggressive, sexually-disturbed child!

McLaughlane 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:43

Your mom is crazy.

curryndricegirll 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:53

I must say, as much as that sucks for you, this is one of the funnier FMLs I've read.

britterbuggxo 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 3:56

omg, thats awful. but this is kinda funny.

kitkatkelly 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 4:05

There is no way, no extra information that would make what she said okay. And the fact that the mother is candid and clever with her words makes it worse: the crazy ones who are smart are the worst.