Intimacy: Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the... - FML

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Spicy

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 520

You deserved it 36 838

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Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Spicy

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 912

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 098

You deserved it 16 188

Quickie

By dragonstooth257 - 03/02/2019 12:00

Spicy

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 075

You deserved it 687

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 05:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 197

You deserved it 59 943

By prdept. - 09/03/2011 17:12 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 243

You deserved it 20 519

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 11 798

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 2 509

By Anonymous - 02/08/2019 02:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 302

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 152

You deserved it 2 583

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 304

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

"Look, it's hidden in Mommy's dungeon! Quick, get it!"

thestrangedude 10

Monday 13 January 2014 17:35

At least they didn't call the police first

Comments

MichaelStiles88 6

Tuesday 19 April 2016 12:31

Oh my gosh, thanks for the great laugh. Sorry it happened but that's the most adorable story I've read lol.

Linkard 14

Wednesday 29 June 2016 8:51

The wee monster went back to his cave

rinzlerkitty94 31

Friday 14 October 2016 20:10

Well, next time you'd better hold it in. This really is entirely your own fault.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 991

You deserved it 4 880

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 079

You deserved it 61 657

Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 170

Today, my daughter called 911. Why? Because she couldn't get the images to show up on her phone. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 622

You deserved it 522

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 696

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 705

You deserved it 3 029