Miscellaneous: Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 639

You deserved it 2 119

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Same thing different taste

Piss off

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 12:00

Today, I had to deal with my crazy new neighbour who tried to physically stop me from laying my new driveway, on my property, because she claimed she’s allergic to cement while it’s still wet. Even if that were true, piss off back to your house away from the wet cement then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 100

Walked into her trap

By yikes - 18/03/2023 10:00

Today, I learned the VERY hard way that if you’re gonna go onto your neighbor’s property, yell at them for parking on your side of the street, and threaten to call the city on them, then you should probably make sure she doesn’t have pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 752

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 3 399

Creepy Susan

By pretty_coin - 23/10/2011 01:02 - Australia

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 348

You deserved it 3 580

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 943

You deserved it 6 725

Karen of the day

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 115

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 383

You deserved it 3 379

Nice try, Susan

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 23:00

Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 65

By Cowan - 06/08/2009 12:27 - Belgium

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor… who is a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 869

You deserved it 125 427

By Murphs_Law - 16/11/2016 06:37 - United States

Today, my crazy downstairs neighbor was yet again fighting with her boyfriend by slamming every door. When this didn't work, she went downstairs to fight with his grill. She wheeled it to the end of the driveway and pushed it over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 160

You deserved it 813

FrutLoopDingus 19

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:45

You young whippersnappers shouldn't be that close anyways

thewcloner 22

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:45

Maybe they were killer plants?

Comments

McPerrier 19

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:51

At least she doesn't use treated wastewater... I hope

Amorettex 19

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:54

You should of step on her plants ;)

FusionPlacebo 26

Saturday 30 May 2015 20:19

I should step on you.

Amorettex 19

Sunday 31 May 2015 19:38

Your cool lol

cathleenn 9

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:57

Do her a favour one day, and offer to water her plants. With bleach.

danthehuman 29

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:58

Plants vs Humans.

Hop6e 22

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:58

Shoulda trampled her stupid plants then.

Attacksloth 33

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:59

Technically that's assault and you can call the police

sally_jangl 13

Saturday 30 May 2015 20:00

neighbors suck. u should spray her back

PANDORUM89 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 20:01

pretty sure that's harassment on her part.

writerchic85 25

Saturday 30 May 2015 20:07

Id go over there and stomp her plants to shit

Dide9872 19

Saturday 30 May 2015 20:09

If someone did that to me, they would gets warm greeting from a piss-filled super soaker

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 490

You deserved it 5 328

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 246

You deserved it 31 290

Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 145

Today, I tried to get ready for a final. I had about six hours to study. My girlfriend decided to help by jabbering loudly in my ear about celebrity gossip, noisily cleaning the office and losing my notes, and getting in a screaming argument with her mom over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 175

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 497

You deserved it 77 775

Today, I went to a tattoo artist to get what I thought would be really cute, elegant finger tattoos. I left with wobbly, blobby messes all over my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 2 766