By FMyBrain - 06/06/2014 21:26 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 499
You deserved it 6 032
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Top comments

Welshite 39

Roll yourself in bubble wrap and wait for the Universe to find another hapless victim. It's the only thing left to do.

375 2

Comments

spignona84 11

I stubbed my toe today.... You don't even know

44 5
Demig0d6 14

When's ur funeral?

6 40
JJ_86 22

And finally the OP gets an electric shock from clicking the submit button on the PC. RIP dude! On a serious note hope you made it through the day.

69 2
ChevyRedneck85 13

Let us know which funeral home to send flowers to

1 22
Uglyfeet 23

We need a follow up on this one... maybe from your heir(ess)

20 1
badluckalex 23

at least op didnt step on a lego. that will truly be the death of him

33 0
incoherentrmblr 21

This definitely needs a follow up...

6 5
JKPwnage 27

Have you still got your foot, #79, or did it have to be amputated?

4 0
Welshite 39

Roll yourself in bubble wrap and wait for the Universe to find another hapless victim. It's the only thing left to do.

375 2
ksks1234 33

You just made The Bubble Bunch song get stuck in my head.

0 37
tidbits5197 28

But with how their day is going, the Universe may, instead, cause them to suffocate inside the bubble wrap.

92 3
Welshite 39

Nope. Bubble wrap is impervious to every unfortunate event, and it brings glorious happiness with every bubble popped. I've heard that it's one of the Universe's most hated adversaries.

83 5
Rozza17 29

#2 OP would probably suffocate if he wraps himself in bubble wrap Whoops sorry didn't see #19 comment. Silly me

3 27
SrgntSprnkls77 15

"Doesnt see" previous comment Says so in same comment

8 27
ironichalibut 24

It's called editing. Smart people use it to correct their mistakes.

38 0
fuckyourlifeOP 25

"Today, I was doing my daily duties as a table, and some guy rubbed his balls in my face! FML."

50 4
kevinwm0 14

In a related story, a man was found suffocated to death inside a ball of bubble wrap. Details at 11.

4 0
madellen 16

Just find a nice circular room to spend the day in!

103 1
KK3137 31

He'll just trip over his own feet..

7 0
LegalLoitering 12

Now is the time to buy a cup and a helmet, for the same reasons.

68 5
cakefete2 30

Legal you are doing a wonderful job as head shot safety inspector. Your advice will continue to save lives and testicles alike.

18 4
Agtthepw 21

I would say this is the kind of day when you should just go to bed and sleep... But I'm afraid you might end up dying, suffocating from a vicious pillow.

98 1
VileCrack 5

Go to sleep OP. Not many bad things happen when you are sleeping.

18 4
Miss_Whipped 43

My childhood says otherwise. *twisted smile*

3 28
ironichalibut 24

Nonsense, plenty of bad things happen when you're sleeping. You just don't remember them because they'll be parts of dreams that your brain doesn't store as memory, like most parts of dreams.

2 6
ironichalibut 24

Your brain doesn't differentiate between reality and a dream while you're asleep. Essentially whatever happens to you in your dreams, may as well really be happening as far as your brain is concerned.

1 2
meladuh 16

You just need to hide in your blanket and you are safe. The monsters under your bed cant touch you.

3 0
Tankkiller308 16

What if they have a vivid dream where they have a heart attack and their heart stops in real life

1 0
DocDrose 20

time to deploy the bubble wrap armour!

21 3
titandesu 14

and to stay in a fort within the living room

15 1
slimkelsey 17

You've only lived one day in my world. Ain't it a bitch?

3 34
DemosthenesMB 13

Well, if there's not a follow-up then we can take OP's word for it.

59 0