Intimacy: Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my...

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 647

You deserved it 2 817

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 178

You deserved it 3 382

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 830

You deserved it 2 551

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 459

You deserved it 42 600

Safe sex

By avoiding preggers - 17/12/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 148

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 515

You deserved it 46 435

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 902

You deserved it 40 514

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 751

You deserved it 6 029

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 599

You deserved it 24 360

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 566

You deserved it 4 750

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 310

hawright 13

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:04

I guess you didn't see that one coming... I'm sorry, I had to.

yupitssoph 18

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:04

Lovely roommate you have there. Go over to him, drop it back onto his face, and say: "I believe this is yours."

Comments

lovepandorasaver 11

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:49

So your roommate has sex in the same room that you sleep in?? You need a bigger place or need to tell him to bang in his own room.

drewcat21 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:58

My guess would be college dorm room maybe?

lovepandorasaver 11

Tuesday 2 October 2012 17:08

Yeah that sounds about right.

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 2 October 2012 16:54

If your roommate is that disgustingly lazy, you should probably also check to see that he isn't spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle for 'conservation' purposes.