Health: Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started...

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 142

You deserved it 7 970

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Same thing different taste

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 793

You deserved it 35 344

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 233

By burn - 01/08/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 989

You deserved it 3 507

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 028

You deserved it 2 896

By anonymous - 16/09/2013 05:35 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 065

You deserved it 2 719

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 160

By Equi - 12/12/2018 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 524

You deserved it 327

Repetition

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - 22/02/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 335

By crap - 02/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 662

By notgood - 04/01/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 320

ribbyc80 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 12:05

well, when the chocolate milk starts flowing ur gunna be awake anyway, so mission accomplished...

paras0mnia 3

Saturday 30 April 2011 12:26

Didn't your parents teach you not to take candy from strangers? :P

Comments

invicta8926 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 18:44

Payback is a BITCH!

zowieandzander77 1

Saturday 30 April 2011 18:53

if you called it "cruising" in front of me I'd try and find a way to ditch you too...

shelbyjoa2011 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 22:04

note to self never take something somr one else gives

CasualZombie 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 6:14

have we learned nothing from "the hangover"?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 30 April 2011 22:56

Technically, caffeine can be a laxative.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Saturday 30 April 2011 23:20

thatll keep ya awake. :D

Alekyork 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 1:02

Laugh at your friend for obviously being constipated. O_o

sceneblondie 8

Sunday 1 May 2011 2:14

hasn't any one ever told u to never take unknown pills from strangers? lol :P

Jackie_Noff 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 2:57

oh my god(: that is so funny! im sorry sweetie!

levin1983 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 3:24

ever hear of coffee?

richard121212 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:26

pin him down and shit on his face. maybe he'll enjoy chocolate milk. (with some clumps)

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The Top

Today, I made a tasty, healthy plant-based lunch for my family. They ate a few bites, spat it out, and then went to McDonald's "to eat real food, you know, food with meat in it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 825

Today, I ended up in the hospital due to a severe acid reflux attack. I knew I had acid reflux for years, but was never allowed to get it checked out. Why? My dad told me I was too young to have it and that I was making it up. I now have to see a specialist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 181

You deserved it 278

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 3 993

Today, I was stood up at a cafe named “Commitment Issues”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 155

Today, I went to my class as usual. I've had my eyes on one guy for a year now. A new girl came in and he was talking about her with his friends when my friend suggested me instead of her. He took a glance at me before turning back into the conversation making the same face I did when I saw a disintegrated frog that'd been run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 122

Today, I found out my son has been lying about being sick. He kept complaining so I took him to the doctor and got him some medicine. Now he’s actually sick because he took meds he didn’t even need. He did it solely so he could get an expensive get well soon gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 023

You deserved it 874

Same thing different taste

Great boyfriend, part 2

Stuck

Repetition

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