Miscellaneous: Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red...

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 19:47 - Ireland

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 670

You deserved it 2 488

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Same thing different taste

By what's a rimjob between friends? - 06/09/2013 21:42 - United States - Boston

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 113

You deserved it 4 453

By maleficunt - 03/06/2014 20:44 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 019

You deserved it 4 057

Parent #1 of the Year

By no i'm sure you're a responsible parent - 09/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 677

You deserved it 214

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 104

Hello from the other side

By losthusband - 11/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 216

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 450

Staircase wit at the checkout

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 472

By UglyGirl - 08/11/2015 09:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 385

You deserved it 1 949

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 148

You deserved it 3 871

By bthms - 31/01/2010 14:46 - France

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 968

You deserved it 3 460

daviddupree 0

Friday 16 November 2012 3:40

Wait.. What? Lol

RS808 6

Friday 16 November 2012 3:58

@ #8.. I also had to read this FML a couple times before I understood it. The story is pretty much told in reverse, if that helps.

Comments

LiterOfCola 16

Friday 16 November 2012 4:29

How did this poorly structured FML even get accepted?

shortasalways 9

Friday 16 November 2012 4:33

I'm thinking she either thought the guy next to her was the one talking not the loud speaker or she was telling him to shut up so she could hear the loud speaker. OP was probably just embarrassed by his wifes actions. If he had left her side she may have snapped even more. We also don't know his wifes side to this. Maybe there is something OP did not tell us?

kitkatkit 4

Friday 16 November 2012 14:19

The wife's story: She's talking to her husband and an advertisement comes over the loudspeaker for something she bought that doesn't work. "Innocent bystander" starts to defend the advertisement, but since no one was talking to him, she puts him in his place. Hubby is embarrassed and writes fml like his wife is a lunatic. Ta da!!!!

LiterOfCola 16

Friday 16 November 2012 4:34

How did this poorly structured FML even get accepted?

LiterOfCola 16

Friday 16 November 2012 4:37

Is my comment seriously getting modded for calling the FML "poorly structured"? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone

johnny_derp 3

Friday 16 November 2012 4:54

I wonder wtf was said on the loudspeaker that could have possibly elicited such an over the top response.

shortasalways 9

Friday 16 November 2012 5:04

" Blue light special on aisle 3!"

Headcrab 29

Friday 16 November 2012 5:03

bitches be crazy.

buckdharma 37

Friday 16 November 2012 5:14

shut the **** up...if i cant hear the price of me meat i cant afford any pudding. how can i afford me pudding if i cant hear the price of me meat ?

tj5810 21

Friday 16 November 2012 5:20

One word: Prozac *You're welcome*

nerdchic 5

Friday 16 November 2012 6:29

Wrong: it should be marijuana.. Prozac has horrible side effects while pot does not :)

Marrach 7

Friday 16 November 2012 5:36

Maybe PMS?

CrookedCook 14

Friday 16 November 2012 5:46

OP needs to learn when use commas and pronouns the right sequence. dependent clause descriptions are suppose to describe the last pronoun. this FML was all over the place.