Love: Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 20 944

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 263

You deserved it 1 240

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 118

You deserved it 10 558

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 3 441

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 119

You deserved it 5 890

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 801

You deserved it 4 884

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 595

You deserved it 18 000

Topping from the bottom

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 21:00

Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 319

By CUCKOO - 26/10/2013 21:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 385

You deserved it 5 056

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 148

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 108

DonkeyTeeth2013 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:38

Well, you asked for it!

ninjahesten 18

Wednesday 11 February 2015 0:36

apply cold water to that burn..

Comments

Nagi 21

Wednesday 11 February 2015 3:22

Oh shit... I felt that burn

uchihadesendent 14

Wednesday 11 February 2015 3:36

ouch I know how that feels good luck op

Batur 2

Wednesday 11 February 2015 3:42

I want to know your reaction. lol

classicsparkles 17

Wednesday 11 February 2015 4:29

I feel like a burn is an insta-reaction for any form of insult or regection so, ydi.

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 5:15

Why were yins talking about that?

Tannasgh 22

Wednesday 11 February 2015 5:52

You will regret opening your mouth when you get older...

fader48080 10

Wednesday 11 February 2015 7:10

sorry but you kind of walked headlong into that one

star_dust_babe 12

Wednesday 11 February 2015 7:47

Hahaha in point! Ydi

kp1992 7

Wednesday 11 February 2015 8:38

Roasted!

pcgwm 13

Wednesday 11 February 2015 9:29

OOOOHHHH BUUUURN!!! Lmfao, made my night

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to get any time off work to go to Mexico with him, and that we'd have to get our tickets refunded, and reschedule. He said not to bother, and that he already had someone else in mind to take with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 706

You deserved it 5 566

Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 578

You deserved it 2 140

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 153

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 333

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 106

You deserved it 2 901

Today, I learned that my car alarm only goes off if the car is unlocked a bit forcibly. Doesn't make a sound when some prick breaks the window out in the middle of the night to steal my cd player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 990

You deserved it 2 313

Same thing different taste

No

Topping from the bottom

Denied

Spill the tease

Top comments

Comments