Miscellaneous: Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because... - FML

By pancaketits - 22/03/2016 15:33 - United States - Havertown

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 380

You deserved it 1 664

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Same thing different taste

By pencilskirt - 22/03/2019 00:00

Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 306

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 494

You deserved it 367

By fatty - 23/01/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 693

You deserved it 8 203

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 39 042

By Melissa Barrios - 15/07/2019 16:00

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 203

I like big butts and I cannot lie

By ThiccBoi - 02/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 294

Eyes on the prize

By tatatest - 06/04/2012 03:02 - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 484

You deserved it 59 069

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 00:22

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 634

You deserved it 737

Get better jokes

By nosy ass bitch! - 30/03/2022 16:00

Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 105

By fuckingcool - 14/12/2016 20:59 - United States - Ortonville

Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 023

You deserved it 734

Next

Top comments

saxaddict122 14

Wednesday 23 March 2016 1:16

Yikes. That person was not only an asshole, but made the pancake a dirty thing. What a double fail on his part. Sorry OP

magickitten 26

Wednesday 23 March 2016 1:22

Plot twist: OP is male.

Comments

Camry_Girl420 18

Wednesday 23 March 2016 19:36

Well did you smack him upside the head? with your bookbag? I would have. what a douche

Lisa_Kdubz 20

Wednesday 23 March 2016 19:56

Could be worse. No boobs no ass club here

amsterdamgirl 20

Wednesday 23 March 2016 20:03

oooooooooohhhh, alright

rkphillips72 6

Wednesday 23 March 2016 21:25

Personally I'm an ass man

Vulpeex 15

Thursday 24 March 2016 0:36

You should probably listen to him; he's probably an expert in asses seeing as he is one.

Xandrick 22

Thursday 24 March 2016 0:37

That person fails today's human biology so hard. It's easy to imagine small breasts and huge ass, just as it's easy to imagine small ass and huge breasts, and all in between. It's called human body diversity. It's a thing.

Uuuuxc 7

Thursday 24 March 2016 3:25

at least you have a great ass, that's the important thing

biopilot17 9

Thursday 24 March 2016 4:51

It's true

manuwish 9

Thursday 24 March 2016 7:46

most importantly, do you like your body? others opinions can stay where they are op, if you like your body who gives a crap what media, assholes or jealous frenemies say!

born_hustla 26

Friday 25 March 2016 19:16

What's wrong with a big butt ?

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Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 571

You deserved it 17 226

Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 294

You deserved it 6 555

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 600

You deserved it 2 336

I don't get no respect!

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 92

Today, my mom corrected all the spelling mistakes in my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 90

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 369