That's more than I asked for By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 619 You deserved it 4 829 Share Tweet Share
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 739 153 You deserved it 496 189
Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 395 You deserved it 4 534
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 909 You deserved it 6 141
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 712 You deserved it 4 397
Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 772 You deserved it 40 248
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 659 You deserved it 46 060
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML I agree, your life sucks 60 547 You deserved it 4 869
Today, my father was helping me move into college. When we arrived, the students helping people move in mistook me for one of the parents. I’m 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 573 You deserved it 156
well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
use it to tape your cleavage shut