Subway Surfer on a Mission By FML Approved - 26/09/2017 03:00 You know he's got something important going on... I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 043 You deserved it 3 558
Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 583 You deserved it 3 726
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 020 You deserved it 3 830
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 667 You deserved it 29 247
Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 824 You deserved it 3 014
Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 93