Intimacy: Saucy

Saucy

By weeble_wobbles09 - 08/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 467

You deserved it 25 954

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Same thing different taste

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 409

You deserved it 15 248

By Ace - 01/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 1 813

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 386

You deserved it 1 531

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 8 838

By Username - 03/02/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 3 754

By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - 31/01/2012 02:50 - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 946

You deserved it 8 897

Good for you

By denied - 11/08/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 171

You deserved it 8 889

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 979

You deserved it 57 488

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 427

You deserved it 32 010

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 17 929

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:50

ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.

spank_u_veryhard 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:35

maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...

Comments

Darksun1 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:13

Haha woooooow! can I get fries with th

spank_u_veryhard 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:35

maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...

Messeract 4

Thursday 20 March 2014 7:43

Lol what if

Justine Malang 16

Sunday 15 July 2018 0:10

Goddamn lol that's funny asf

iheartjustinsane 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:41

YDI for being a **** AND a dumbass! Good job!

Brennaa69 5

Monday 4 April 2011 20:47

Lol being a ****? Thats a bit over the top.. she was only talking to the guy.

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:50

ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:52

*diarrhea

Wooddaver 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:15

so you're saying he ****** the shit out of you yesterday? YDI for having rough sex with a stranger.

Cowless 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:25

It's a hook up. Why do you care?

Spac3Ghost 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:46

hahaha!!! your life dude =) YDI it hard for not proof checking!!! =)

dazzlingstar1987 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:56

hahahah I would play it off like u were joking if it's not too late

wtsc 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:49

YDI for being a **** and a moron at the same time!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 549

You deserved it 4 507

Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 108

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 749

You deserved it 8 002

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 192

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 95

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 893

You deserved it 39 291

Saucy

Same thing different taste

No. Just… No.

Good for you

Nice try

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