Intimacy: PUA

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 388

You deserved it 2 248

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Same thing different taste

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 775

You deserved it 2 981

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 267

You deserved it 6 627

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 146

You deserved it 3 789

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 285

You deserved it 8 194

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 116

You deserved it 6 233

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 510

You deserved it 6 182

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 963

You deserved it 3 365

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 133

By speechless - 01/06/2013 00:50 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 134

You deserved it 6 095

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 829

You deserved it 6 815

MisterEx 28

Monday 14 March 2016 0:41

The directions you gave him were too long. He wanted a shortcut. To between your legs.

Zarcissa 34

Monday 14 March 2016 0:40

Yikes, it's always creepy when someone old enough to be your grandparent suggests things like this.

Comments

Dawnoftime 12

Monday 14 March 2016 2:44

What a madman

fyvaprold 11

Monday 14 March 2016 3:22

That's what dementia does to you. Pray you die before you become senile.

HylianWarrior 21

Monday 14 March 2016 3:24

When you reach that age, why not be direct about what you are thinking. Why worry about consequences when you'll be dead in a few years anyway?

DoomedGemini 37

Monday 14 March 2016 16:36

Yes, who cares if you affect others and make them uncomfortable or upset because you're selfish enough to only care about your life.

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 14 March 2016 17:35

Haven't you heard the news. 59? Old people don't give a ****.

bigdfootball97 24

Monday 14 March 2016 4:22

"Excuse me, miss. Do you know how to get in between you legs? ;)"

Imnotreallyblack 10

Monday 14 March 2016 4:47

you sure it wasn't some YouTube prank or something?

hoosiergirl94 31

Monday 14 March 2016 5:29

Well that escalated quickly

Vanessa_Leeann26 17

Monday 14 March 2016 5:40

Yikes, gotta love the elderly, eh? Lol

SomeoneSaveSammy 11

Monday 14 March 2016 5:46

That's really creepy...

Laphog 17

Monday 14 March 2016 7:07

This scene should have been written into dirty grandpa

akaYodaddy 3

Monday 14 March 2016 7:20

when your old you don't give a ****

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The Top

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 1 427

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 602

You deserved it 6 100

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 187

You deserved it 8 559

Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 085

You deserved it 8 637

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 5 572

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 943

You deserved it 7 458

PUA

Same thing different taste

Stranger danger

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