"Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger…"

Anonymous - 27/05/2020 20:00

Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

hahahaha090114 - 30/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

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The writing's on the wall

Anonymous - 13/12/2024 21:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML

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Bad sitcom levels of incompetence

Anonymous - 24/10/2023 00:02

Today, in a moment reminiscent of Two and a Half Men, my divorce lawyer screwed me over and gave my soon-to-be-ex-wife 90% of everything. I now need to pay a new lawyer to fix what she screwed up. And yes, she was lashing out at me because my brother had sex with her then never called her back. FML

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Commitment

Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

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Get over it

DD. - 08/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

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TCRII - 28/03/2018 01:30

Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML

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Boring FML

Anonymous - 02/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

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It wasn't me

Anonymous - 31/07/2024 19:00

Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML

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Anonymous - 30/05/2018 15:00

Today, my wife informed me that she wants a boyfriend but doesn't want a divorce. Also, apparently I'm horrible for not "respecting her feelings" when I told her she can't have both. FML

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dwaggle - 02/07/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

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Amanda Howard 9

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:26

please I hope you guys have a pre up or hire your brother as a lawyer

loliloveoniichan 14

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:32

You'd better get rid of that gold digger asap

Amanda Howard 9

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:26

please I hope you guys have a pre up or hire your brother as a lawyer

loliloveoniichan 14

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:32

You'd better get rid of that gold digger asap

BigSissy 14

Thursday 28 May 2020 6:32

I don’t really think that’s an issue as she is already getting rid of him.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:43

She should have married your brother and ****** you on the side. Rookie mistake.

alex_jaguara 33

Wednesday 27 May 2020 21:48

The rookie mistake is that he married to her.

dannyhomey 2

Wednesday 27 May 2020 20:50

**** that bitch if she doesn’t want you you shouldn’t she’s a tear for her

galvinizd 7

Wednesday 27 May 2020 22:22

build her a cheap house.

Jennij717 4

Wednesday 27 May 2020 23:04

I would take a carpenter over a lawyer any day

FadedShield 5

Thursday 28 May 2020 1:15

Legend has it they call this race a "Gold Digger" and they originated from some planet called Pluto for lack of potential.

themetropolitan 19

Thursday 28 May 2020 17:56

Pluto is not a planet. Just a dwarf planet.

tounces7 27

Thursday 28 May 2020 2:56

Was it not obvious what sort of job you were going into early on in your marriage? I mean, I'm sure she can rub those two brain cells of hers together and figure out that if you aren't going to law school, you aren't planning to be a lawyer...

ftpallday666 16

Thursday 28 May 2020 3:03

Then she doesn’t deserve you and you will be so much happier in a few months, either alone or with someone new. Keep it up mate. You deserve so much better. Someone will love you for you.