Today, my girlfriend stuck her hand down my pants. Normally that... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By "EinherjarUltra" - 17/11/2018 17:50 - Germany - Potsdam

Today, my girlfriend stuck her hand down my pants. Normally that would be a good thing, but her hands where so cold that i now literally have blue balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 12

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Leeono 26

Tuesday 20 November 2018 18:28

Bollocks to that!

sarkycow 25

Wednesday 21 November 2018 1:47

I do this to my husband with my feet. I can wake him from a dead sleep, making him jump a few feet (no pun intended!) in the air wondering wtf happened to him ...just by putting my feet between his legs 😂.

Comments

Leeono 26

Tuesday 20 November 2018 18:28

Bollocks to that!

sarkycow 25

Wednesday 21 November 2018 1:47

I do this to my husband with my feet. I can wake him from a dead sleep, making him jump a few feet (no pun intended!) in the air wondering wtf happened to him ...just by putting my feet between his legs 😂.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 23 November 2018 2:43

"I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losing control." Or "Ice, ice, baby." Or Something from Frozen.

BillGray 9

Thursday 3 January 2019 20:36

You are a very lucky guy! I'm jealous! I wish my girl would do that, but she ignores that I am a sexual being!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 035

You deserved it 2 760

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 232

You deserved it 5 880

Today, it's been a year since the man I loved for more than a decade moved in with me. I felt so lucky at the time, only to suddenly notice more and more that he's a huge racist. Against MY race. Bye bye decades of my wasted time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 257

Today, in my AP U.S. history class, we had a very long, very slow discussion about whether or not Vermont is a state. I think I lost brain cells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 378

You deserved it 430

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 293

Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 144