Poopoo peepee and Health: Impressive

Impressive

By authorsubmit - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 891

You deserved it 47 773

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Same thing different taste

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 74 986

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 189

By desigymrat - 25/12/2010 05:29 - France

Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 516

You deserved it 42 641

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 16:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 339

Get out

By pipefitter28 - 27/12/2012 06:46 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 142

You deserved it 28 933

By YuckyDuckyLucky - 03/06/2015 17:36 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 870

You deserved it 5 842

Work it out

By Stevey - 17/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 373

Strength test

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 749

You deserved it 5 959

By wowimdumb - 30/01/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 468

You deserved it 70 228

Do you even lift, bro?

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 04:24 - United States

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 66 971

tothenifty 1

Friday 4 May 2012 19:16

this is great

pinkcrayola 0

Friday 4 May 2012 19:17

Well if she's into that...

Comments

amberxxoo 6

Friday 4 May 2012 19:21

I feel bad for the next person to use that machine.

doctorhook86 24

Friday 4 May 2012 19:24

Who's been to the gym today anywhere in the United States? It could be yooouuuu...

rubberduckie94 13

Friday 4 May 2012 19:24

Oh, come off it op. You were trying to make the hot new porno One Guy, One Cup. *athletic cup in case anyone is scratching their head.

retyi43 14

Friday 4 May 2012 20:43

yes.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Friday 4 May 2012 19:25

Made-my-day!:D

bethanyjk 0

Friday 4 May 2012 19:26

Seriously?

quite_bored 9

Friday 4 May 2012 22:13

Yes.

kelic 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:09

phatdaddy62 23

Saturday 5 May 2012 21:21

Maybe so.

CoolBreezeKing 8

Sunday 6 May 2012 1:11

Perhaps?

failureusername 12

Friday 4 May 2012 19:28

So that's what it takes to impress people these days? 0.0.....No wonder. *takes out note pad*

TrentF13 12

Monday 7 May 2012 7:31

Your profile rocks. :) You rock.

failureusername 12

Wednesday 9 May 2012 5:15

Thank you! :) So it is possible to impress people without having to waste money to replace poo pants!! :D

retardslo 0

Friday 4 May 2012 19:31

How shitty

lolfood 24

Friday 4 May 2012 19:35

This is a shi- *shot in face*

TwitchingNebula 17

Friday 4 May 2012 19:36

I saw the one of the female weightlifter was like in the Olympics or something went to do her power clean and pissed everywhere ????????????

chelseaaababyyy 17

Friday 4 May 2012 19:38

12 - oh lord, that's gonna give me nightmares.

TwitchingNebula 17

Friday 4 May 2012 19:39

Sorry those ???? Were supposed to me emoticons from my iPhone

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Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

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You deserved it 2 003

Random

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

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You deserved it 43 292

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

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You deserved it 5 702

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 2 253

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 333

You deserved it 16 500

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 650

You deserved it 2 835

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 911

You deserved it 368