Health Poopoo peepee I've known for ages - FML

I've known for ages

Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

38 108

7 193

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Bunged up

Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

45 716

5 798

fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

36 091

4 602

Full of it

romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

1 526

572

Leave me alone

emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

29 545

3 349

ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

25 770

40 932

Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

4 850

263

EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

40 329

7 539

Not now!

Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

481

103

blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

34 305

54 683

A mother's love…

Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

1 879

118

IllegalLight 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 12:09

zing!

intensitive 11

Thursday 28 January 2010 12:15

One word: Fiber.

stibbons_fml 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:12

FYL for a) not being prepared for the *obvious* joke and b) taking it personally. Seriously, just FYL princess.

Andrea9514 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:23

Don't get so worked up about it, my Mum would have said the SAME thing.

jamjenni2774 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:25

Thanks for a good laugh!! 

Sekococo 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:26

Its shitty but your mom is right and she gets a WIN award

michaelscott69 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:32

win

Mythicleb 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:53

your life doesn't suck. shit happens. experiences is all we have in life

Altrown_fml 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:57

I love your mom.

mushoo_fml 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:59

Actually in the OP's case, shit does NOT happen. EDIT: Reply to 34... comments acting up again...

alya_fml 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 15:16

what a delightful mum you have..

Slimma 20

Thursday 28 January 2010 15:39

Your mom is just awesome.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Cheerleading? No... This is Sparta!

416

97

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

32 504

5 109

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

25 776

4 096

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

200

507

Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML

672

138

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

28 819

6 340