Hetero blues By Anonymous - 03/09/2026 00:00 - United States Today, I have a major crush on my coworker and I hate it because he's s gay and happily married to another man. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 676 You deserved it 963
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 924 You deserved it 4 176
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML I agree, your life sucks 37 024 You deserved it 3 499
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 994 You deserved it 5 243
Today, I attended my father’s funeral. I have the week off work, and one of my colleagues is using this time to make a play for my job. I’m not supposed to be checking emails, so I can’t call them out on it until I get back, by which time it may be too late. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 807 You deserved it 137
Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 172