Pregnancy and Kids: Good news

Good news

By poormom - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 432

You deserved it 29 138

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 054

You deserved it 5 274

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 082

You deserved it 6 171

The next generation

By Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 371

People don't always get sarcasm

By Martin - 15/03/2021 17:00

Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 1 197

Do not pass Go

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 08:00

Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 1 324

By Anonymous - 29/03/2015 15:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 374

You deserved it 7 728

By Baby eater - 20/05/2014 00:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 531

You deserved it 5 840

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 1 502

No! Noooo!

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 01:59 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 987

You deserved it 1 957

Threat

By fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 364

You deserved it 4 018

cardboardtastes 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:22

How do you speak to your kids?!

Shock98 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:24

apparently he doesn't want you to have another kid.

Comments

omggtfomi 1

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:11

Oh my I'm sorry

dpgft10 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 21:03

I'm sorry but your son is....A BOSS

bieberfreak18 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 3:36

wow, if I wouldve said that at 9 years old Id be grounded for life! But congrats to your brave little swearing machine ;)

RadioOctopus 16

Friday 25 November 2011 18:24

my parents never swore infront of us once we couldnt watch anything and stillcant that swears and cant hang out with anyone that swears. im seventeen years old and the rules still apply. did that stop me my brother and my sister from learning to? no. its not always the parents fault

Broc831 6

Wednesday 28 March 2012 9:13

damn, you raising a thug or something?

BATGIRL13 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 5:35

You need to spank his ass

Ninjasaurus18 9

Saturday 21 April 2012 21:05

When I was 5 I knew worse words, so don't be upset. And how many kids do you have? Maybe he said that because you have a lot of kids and is feeling left out because you can't put a ******* condom on?