School, Embarrassing, Awkward, Injury Health Fight Club - FML

Fight Club

Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

WTFruits - 29/05/2013 18:29 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

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Got away with it, surely?

Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

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jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

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yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

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Never sneak up

Anonymous - 26/01/2022 14:01

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

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Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

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permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

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Good initiative

cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

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justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

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Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

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Awesomeaxel 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 16:07

That's actually pretty funny. I'm sorry op

Black_Knight80 13

Wednesday 16 April 2014 16:11

an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Haha yea right! sorry OP

CrazyMelvin 14

Wednesday 16 April 2014 19:20

Either you're a vampire or it was a thin apple:)

Likian5 26

Wednesday 16 April 2014 19:24

Your teeth went right through the apple...but aren't they supposed to do that? What other outcome were you expecting?

45thTBirds 7

Wednesday 16 April 2014 19:27

Let's all make the same comment guys. Sorry OP :(

coppersmith 13

Wednesday 16 April 2014 19:37

You have something in common with Bill Gates now... Apple made him bleed too!

AlwaysWatching 27

Wednesday 16 April 2014 21:24

That's an awesome title to have

iAshelle 11

Wednesday 16 April 2014 21:53

That is tough. Keep your head help high OP! Hopefully they will forget?

pjsr 32

Wednesday 16 April 2014 22:59

Instead of 'Fruit Ninja', it appears you experienced 'Ninja Fruit'

mchmelev1993 10

Thursday 17 April 2014 0:09

Lmao i would pay to see that xD

Pareidolia101 15

Thursday 17 April 2014 0:15

Those must be really sharp teeth you have.

bombielol 20

Thursday 17 April 2014 0:26

well thats some shit.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

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Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

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Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

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Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed, "Tell him 'Happy Birthday' from me!" and as I pressed send, I remembered her dad was dead. FML

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Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

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Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

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