Miscellaneous: Dirty mind

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 799

You deserved it 2 964

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Same thing different taste

Lingo

By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 08:02

Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 1 516

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 432

Behave!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 278

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 132

You deserved it 2 093

Sob story

By marisacb - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 610

You deserved it 7 839

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 526

You deserved it 9 741

Great, thanks, I hate you

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 18:09 - Greece

Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 262

You deserved it 4 698

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 526

You deserved it 5 144

Pissed

By pl. - 03/06/2021 21:59

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 167

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 450

You deserved it 2 549

Mideoyeo 12

Monday 25 June 2012 18:59

Its like people don't even think things through these days

gojira666 7

Monday 25 June 2012 18:59

Thats where my mind went too....

Comments

HULK_SMASH_ 7

Tuesday 26 June 2012 0:56

So how again is this an FML?

HaileyFierce 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 1:22

Ajwc101 24

Tuesday 26 June 2012 1:38

Uhhh

Leslier_fml 4

Tuesday 26 June 2012 1:57

Your friend is stupid, obviously.

ILoveMyXbox 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:18

I seriously don't know why your friend would take that as offensive. I actually don't know what else taking your kids to the pool would mean, and I'm 15.

pwnman 33

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:22

Strangest story I've read...

rightspark 7

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:24

Must not be a good friend if she doesn't even you have kids. Take a pic of your kids taking swimming lessons and send it to her she should apologize then

YesyDidWhat 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:49

I'm sorry but how is this an FML?

YesyDidWhat 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 2:53

I'm sorry but how is this an FML? I understand she was rude and all but you can just tell her she took it way too serious. My bad I didn't get to finish.