Sex, Awkward, Seduction Love Come to bed eyes

Come to bed eyes

marshmallowssss - - United States

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

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Clementine - 27/11/2012 11:36 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

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Awful line of inquiry

teddyissmall - 14/04/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

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Yummy

Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

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Smooth talker

Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

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Say it

Her - 06/11/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

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Andrew - 12/10/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

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sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

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Noname - 05/03/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

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Prince Charming

muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

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jackson7787 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:32

Ha, someone's not getting anything tonight anymore.

greenfairy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:50

damn, the stories on here about what guys say to their girlfriends make me feel really glad I'm single

qwertyuiop8989 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:08

Looks like you need to lose some weight.

karilynn 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:23

Time to kick this asshole to the curb. Next.

lemon_squeezy 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:39

#7 hahahahha #11 AGREED

kandy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:00

What a jerk.

Ronigirl99 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:05

Damn, if my boyfriend did that, I would be so angry.

blink182girl13 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:16

lol, my boyfriend says that stuff to me all the time because i'll eat the whole box of toaster strudels. but i'm not overweight so it's okay :)

Already_Dead 15

Sunday 22 February 2015 19:42

Give it time. With eating habits like that, you'll be a fat ass in a few years.

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:23

Ahh... lovebirds. :)

LittleMissMack 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:28

I totally see how it sucks and you feel crappy, but honestly it's not the worst he could have said. I'm not saying being fat or overweight or big is a bad thing, but it isn't a good thing. It really isn't healthy to be overweight. So why FYL if your boyfriend cares enough about you and your health to be a little bold and upfront?

dippindot001 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:37

you deserved that because that probably means you're fat. and even if you are fat, you shouldn't be with someone who will say that to you. sooo you deserved it either way.