Poopoo peepee, Students, College Life and Miscellaneous: College life

College life

By rimenrezon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 2 537

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Same thing different taste

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 842

You deserved it 14 423

Disinformation

By zzyx - 22/09/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 696

You deserved it 16 945

One thing after the other

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 101

By Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 349

By cl512 - 18/09/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 023

You deserved it 2 344

Make yourselves at home

By unlucky neighbors - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - China - Shanghai

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 742

You deserved it 3 443

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 236

You deserved it 249

By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 596

You deserved it 1 721

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 565

You deserved it 1 632

By issy - 21/09/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 716

You deserved it 3 645

19990231 29

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:29

Buying a new welcome mat is easier than replacing everything they would have stolen.

Vahex 19

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:27

Were they drunk?

Comments

dawood_k 27

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:43

It's now a pissoff mat

The_Avatar 22

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:43

Now you can rest easy knowing your door is secure! Its been tested!

kingkobrastrikes 13

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:56

At least they DENT get in... RAM I right?... no?.... ok

LPisLame 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:14

I see what you did there.

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:04

How could be so specific about the shoulder? *dundundunnn*

YepThatsMeee 23

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:48

I think OP has a very vivid imagination.

patrickalamo 47

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:09

Let's hope he broke a shoulder and peed himself in pain...

Blippety 23

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:23

Hey, at least now you know your door is fairly secure - sounds like a win to me.

Jdlove2 20

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:27

Guess you could say they were pissed...

yeti37 16

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:29

[insert the least creative "I'd be pissed" pun here]

NicholausB 15

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:31

Drunk?

Sterling_1s 8

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:37

Well I guess that should've "PISSED" you off.

G00N3R 19

Tuesday 6 January 2015 20:17

The puns are strong in this one

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You deserved it 5 573

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Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 394

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 384

You deserved it 5 112

Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 770

You deserved it 1 214