Scams, LGBTQIA+ and Miscellaneous: Cold reading bullshit merchant

Cold reading bullshit merchant

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not, and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bi-curious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 285

You deserved it 3 770

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 16:14 - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 691

You deserved it 3 886

By Just Me - 26/07/2012 05:04 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 4 078

By Coffee Boy - 23/06/2012 04:55 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 118

You deserved it 1 992

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 00:16 - United States - Oak Ridge

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 3 217

I'm not, but…

By Queerbait - 05/11/2015 06:52 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 857

You deserved it 2 423

By lil_munchkinjen - 09/02/2009 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 5 936

Keeping up

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 155

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 679

You deserved it 27 071

Holy stereotypes, mom!

By BtoTheRtoTheTTK - 19/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Winter Haven

Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 234

You deserved it 523

By Zanovitch - 13/08/2013 20:19 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 095

You deserved it 4 278

chocogatto12 3

Tuesday 23 June 2009 12:10

Psychics are frauds. They only tell you what you want to hear

AdamGD 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 12:12

Wow... Your mom is a freak (no offense). Seriously? She goes to a phychic to find out if you're gay?? Even though you said you werent? I wonder what she would have done if the phychic said you were straight? Would she have consulted a nuerologist??

Comments

Barbarossa_fml 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 20:38

I think that's a hint that your mom is retarded...

Leoplum 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 21:45

So... ARE you gay?

roundkickkid 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 22:57

Wow his job seems great, make up random bs and you get paid! Sucks for you.

Sacrow 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 8:44

Then don't act so gay around her, get caught having sex with a girl, if you can.

joshlavey09 0

Friday 26 June 2009 8:00

at least youre not REALLY a ******. that would be a true FML

kecii 0

Friday 26 June 2009 19:00

LMAO moms can be so paranoid sumtimes...but mayb u act gay or sumthin.....

Starsmydog 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 2:22

Your mom sounds like the type of woman who wants grandchildren like asap and the fact she hasn't gotten one is making her nervous? I dunno. I think that shit is so ******* retarded. I don't think your mom is an idiot.. I just think she has to much free time on her hand. She needs a hobby.

hellosies 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 9:40

Maybe you're in denial. ;)

kira1kira 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 4:27

psychics r retarded, and so r the ppl who go to them

metro_mello 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 22:25

Hello My name is Jasmin. I have come tto shove a big fist of stfu down your throat. Not all physcics are fake. A lot are but there are few that are real. We have a family friend that is physicc. legitimately physcic. She guess my friends name who had died without me telling her a word. ive never met her before but she also guessed my name. Explain that shit huh :)

Dragonite1414 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 16:41

She knew that because she was a family friend.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Friday 11 September 2009 6:08

get a ******* from a hot blonde chick with ATLEAST 36 C's in your living room while shes there than blow a big load on that chicks face like its a Jackson Pollock painting