Miscellaneous: Caught short

Caught short

By highleyj - 01/04/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 305

You deserved it 19 941

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 4 699

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 688

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 658

You deserved it 38 919

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 211

You deserved it 4 213

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 198

You deserved it 1 718

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 134

You deserved it 53 819

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 617

You deserved it 9 161

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 35 150

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 629

You deserved it 2 735

Who wants to be a millionaire?

By Not telling you in a million years - 03/03/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 279

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:04

why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.

McButterpants 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:03

I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..

Comments

nodbor 11

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:41

did you ring them it out to use next time?

woahcomments 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:42

43% of your money has been in a stripper's panties. think about that next time you wipe your ass with cash.

smokeyou 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:49

Thats even worse than just pulling up your skivvies and sucking it up. You know how dirty money is? And you put it in an orifice...ewww. I'd probably just pull up my underpants and feel really gross til I got home.

audiogasmic 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:50

the only way i can see using money as feasible is if you were in one of those shitty little one stall bathrooms and were wearing flip flops (therefore no socks), though i agree with whoever said you could just use your underwear and buy more later with the money you shat on.

Juno_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 5:02

Hmm, I guess no one has ever heard the old joke about two men in a bathroom? The first does his business then knocks on the wall to the adjoining stall and asks the man if there's any paper on the roll. The second man replies that there's only enough left for himself. After a moment the first guy asks if the second fellow has two fives for a ten. So I'm leaning that this is probably a fake :)

craznazn247 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 5:05

LMAO #82 just made my day.

craznazn247 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 5:10

The only way I would resort to using dirty ass money would be: 1) I was already going commando 2) I was wearing flip-flops, therefore no socks 3) It was a crummy 1 stall bathroom and there were also no paper towels. But congrats on only using up 2 bills. It woulda cost me like...$50