Intimacy Caught red handed

Caught red handed

scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

39 519

3 060

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

LemonLearn - 06/10/2016 20:59 - United States - New York

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

15 098

1 115

Privacy

Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

2 942

270

Are you OK?

Anonymous - 01/05/2016 04:36 - United States - Bloomfield

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

15 966

1 586

That's that, then

Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

2 658

220

Tanned

caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

20 943

46 355

Dude, gross!

utensils123 - - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

33 775

2 375

Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

34 389

9 339

Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

26 558

64 388

ugh, why - 22/11/2015 05:12 - Australia

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

28 986

3 009

anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

25 667

2 232

s0m3guy2010 21

Monday 15 October 2012 19:02

If it can fit in a lotion bottle, I'm assuming it was too small for you to see too much anyway.

cpucooler 4

Monday 15 October 2012 19:01

Your skin has been really smooth and silky lately though, right?

olpally 32

Monday 15 October 2012 23:15

Lol, sorry penguinbitch... Haha.. I'll stop! :D

smallshaft 10

Monday 15 October 2012 23:30

I haven't killed anyone! Don't blame me!

DerekCorbett 18

Monday 15 October 2012 23:58

And you wonder why the same bottle's lasted for years...

SWhimsynBubbaS 14

Tuesday 16 October 2012 0:00

No wonder your brother has been smelling so good lately...

Blue329 15

Tuesday 16 October 2012 0:11

Well that's an awkward situation

awebb21 7

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:19

So that's how the lotion keeps on refilling itself

adelaz 0

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:28

That's sad hi penis can fit into a cap of a bottle

ositoakaluis 16

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:38

Dam I've been using the lotion wrong

amerikaninfidel 2

Tuesday 16 October 2012 1:46

Nice technique, I'll have to remover this one.

geod69 8

Tuesday 16 October 2012 2:25

Next time buy the cheap stuff

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

24 841

4 017

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

25 440

5 817

Today, I competed in a national championship for the sport that I play, and none of my family came to watch and support me. My wife, kids, parents, brothers and sisters - none of them. It was the only opportunity to see me compete, as I'm getting too old and have to stop now. Thanks for nothing, family. FML

771

142

Today, my boss took back the raise he promised me, because I'm “not as resilient as I made him believe.” Well yes, I had the audacity to get sick at an inconvenient time for the company, and I am hardly able to leave my bed, let alone work. Which is apparently due to a “lack of positive mindset.” FML

1 194

117

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

41 012

2 918

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

28 756

7 184