Poopoo peepee, Cops and Transportation: Bladder control

Bladder control

By jojo - 06/05/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 552

You deserved it 12 892

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 096

You deserved it 2 850

Pissed

By anonymous - 19/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 15 477

You OK in there?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 307

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 164

Thank you for your service

By Paulalala - 11/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Helena

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked if I had a reason for going so fast. I panicked and said, “I have to poop.” He followed me home with lights on, just to make sure I made it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 483

By driverman12 - 04/04/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 187

You deserved it 31 011

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 219

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 514

You deserved it 7 193

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 218

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 17 269

theluckygirl28 8

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:09

That's messed up... But YDI for being stupid enough to mot piss before leaving wherever you were... Or even pulling over to a gas station...

Luckster 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

This is why you use the restroom before you leave places.

Comments

you_fail_at_life 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 4:31

Wow that sucks. Hope no one you knew saw you.

itsnotfair 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 4:38

#47- adjeCtives. GrammAr =] couldn't resist

dang_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 5:03

why not stop at a gas station or something???

MaoTseTung_80mil 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 4:54

#82 see #60

itsnotfair 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 5:29

#84- yeah sorry i hadn't finished reading comments when i wrote that..then i saw the other reply haha oops my bad for spamming.

B00_fml 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 5:38

It also depends on what you drank. Caffeinated beverages can make you have to pee. For me, my Kryptonite is drinks with ice in them. I can go to the bathroom, leave somewhere and ten minutes later the need to pee hits all at once. I guess it depends on the bladder filling fast versus slow.

cefarix 5

Thursday 7 May 2009 6:11

Why didn't you just pull over and pee on the side of the road, behind a bush, or something? YDI for being so stupid.

swagmonkey 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 6:19

Next time, if you have to pee, you can solve it by...stopping and peeing. A gas station. Some bushes, even. Anywhere. It's not an excuse for speeding.

panda_rectum 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 7:16

you should've pulled a Lloyd Christmas and peed in some empty beer bottles. Then, if you get pulled over, you hand the beer bottles full 'o piss and watch the cop drink it in agony.