Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 10:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, I visited some family friends who happen to be super catholic. Upon hearing that I am living with two guys, one of them proceeds to berate me for "living in sin." I'm a lesbian. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By sharethepride - 28/03/2016 09:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my parents support Trump when my mother made excuses for him when he said he could shoot someone and not lose any voters. She then disowned me for talking shit about him on Facebook. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By It_Gets_Better - 28/03/2016 09:21 - United States - Apo

Today, upon observing me and my boyfriend of two years, my dad called me a slut. The offensive thing my boyfriend did? Kiss my forehead before hugging me goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thetacosniper - 28/03/2016 09:15 - United States - Northridge

Today, I got suspended for having a picture of a swastika in a presentation about the Nazi party.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By RainbowLibster - 28/03/2016 09:13 - Australia - Perth

Today, my teacher gave me an 'F' on my assignment. She told me it would have been an 'A', but she saw me completing it at lunch, so therefore it was late as it was due today. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 28/03/2016 09:01 - Australia - Albany

Today, I got the flu. Not only that, my grandma is back in hospital after suffering another stroke, my mum is having X-rays for a possible broken arm and my sister drove over 400km back to university with my mums wallet in her car - which has all of our health insurance info in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By zzramz - 28/03/2016 09:01 - United States

Today, my 11 year old brother asked what a condom was with my mom and I in the car. My mom pulls a condom out of her glove compartment and shows him. To which my brother replies "I've seen one those rappers in Zoeys room." My mom laughed and said "Ha, your sister couldn't get laid if she tried." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By zzramz - 28/03/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle asked me to babysit for a few minutes. I didn't ask why considering they usually just go to the gas station. Within about 10 minutes of me watching my cousin I hear the bed creak and moans and I had to somehow come up with a exclamation to a 5 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By wiifantcso - 28/03/2016 07:58 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I have chronic diarrhea and vomiting. My doctor prescribed me two medicines. The antidiarrheal causes vomiting, and the antiemetic causes diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By GoudaCheese - 28/03/2016 07:36 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my roommate called me and told me that someone broke into out apartment and urinated all over his bed, now I'm being accused of peeing on his bed and he threatened to call police on me yet I've been at work all day. And he left the door unlocked. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By oshit - 28/03/2016 07:05 - United States - Somerville

Today, I felt it was safe to venture out on some errands after waiting four days for my laxatives to kick in with no avail. I soon discovered that it takes four days for the pills to activate, mid-checkout at the grocery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By loveletters - 28/03/2016 06:58 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I'm 30 and I've received my first love letter. Unfortunately it's from a 15 years old student of mine. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By 48% - 28/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I was taking a big math test worth 10% of our grade. I was halfway done when I remembered learning about mindfulness a couple days earlier. I decided to close my eyes and listen to my breath for a minute. I fell asleep only to be woken by the bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 3

By Considering murder - 28/03/2016 06:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting on the beach playing our favorite song (it was midnight) and I was about to propose when someone shouted, "TURN OFF THE SH*T MUSIC!" from their balcony. I wasn't able to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By :/ - 28/03/2016 06:14 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out my girlfriend is thinking about breaking up with me because I've been too moody lately. Apparently, my brother dying with heart problems isn't a good excuse for needing to talk about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By jasminew836 - 28/03/2016 06:10 - United States - Columbia

Today, I grabbed my burning candle go to blow it out, subsequently dropping it and spilling hot wax on myself. Then, after stumbling around from the burning wax, I stepped on a tack on the floor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:30 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me his family cancelled Easter dinner because his sister was out of town. Turns out it wasn't cancelled. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By kateeann - 28/03/2016 05:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after just walking into work as a customer service associate, I had a customer threaten me saying she would be back if her card was double charged for her transaction. I had just told her repeatedly to NOT swipe her card. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By fadgekeks - 28/03/2016 05:18 - Canada - Nepean

Today, I was sitting in a tree with my girlfriend. We were definitely close with each other and I decided to lean in for the first kiss. Just as I was about to kiss her, she jumped from the tree, sprained her ankle and ran away. I later heard her say to her friends that the injury was worth it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By aeldsidhe - 28/03/2016 05:17 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, for the family Easter dinner, I spent over 3 hours making this spectacular multi-color, six layer cake with rainbow icing and cute little candy bunnies. I walked in to find my 4-year-old nephew picking off and eating the bunnies and then licking the cake to smooth out the icing.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:15 - United States - Eastlake

Today, I found out that all my friends and the majority of my high school senior class thinks I'm gay. No reasons behind it. They all think I'm gay despite having a girlfriend for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:11 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend after a week long spring break apart. My best friend walked in on us. Within seconds he was naked and having a three way with us...she enjoyed sex better with him and asked to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 05:08 - United States - Swansboro

Today, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with him because he "thought he had a chance with me." I'm a straight, married man and my best friend is upset at me because of it.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Soulless_95 - 28/03/2016 05:08 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while visiting my grandmother, she loudly announced to my mother, while I was fixing the TV, that I was getting "even fatter". Feelin' the love, grandma.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By YupImThatGirl - 28/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Mesa

Today, I went to my family's to spend Easter. Before we ate the food, we had one of my cousins say grace. I had to sneeze but I knew that if I sneezed I would be ridiculed so I held it in. This didn't work, as I sneezed so hard I hit my head on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

By kiki17 - 28/03/2016 05:03 - Australia - Perth

Today, my sister was having one of her blonde moments. she had picked up a light fruit cake, turned to me and asked, "why does it say light when its heavy?" i just had to walk away at that point. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By LaserBoob - 28/03/2016 04:47 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I hooked up with a guy I met at a party. Things were going great until in the middle of sex he grabbed my boob, shook it viciously, and called it "a pointy laser." He even made sound effects to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Scienraged - 28/03/2016 04:47 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I took a 60 question multiple choice test in a class. I got to question 60, but I saw that I ran out of space in my grid-in. That's when I realized I accidentally skipped number 8 and I bubbled in number 9 for it. I had 2 minutes left. I got an F for that test. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By PicklePuncher - 28/03/2016 04:38 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was asked by a wingman of a girl I barely know if I wanted to go to prom with said girl. This wouldn't have been much of a problem had that girl not already had a boyfriend, and if the wingman wasn't the date of mine who had forgotten that I was supposed to take her to prom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By baileybutler - 28/03/2016 04:35 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family drove 4.5 hours to the Grand Canyon and then an additional 2.5 hours to go river rafting only to find out that it was canceled due to the wind. We still had to drive back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 386

You deserved it 31 602

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 479

You deserved it 2 683

Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 461

Today, I was going to walk up to my crush, kiss him, and tell him how I felt. We are already kind of touchy with each other, so I thought he liked me back. I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, then gently pushed me away. He quietly whispered, "I'm gay." Then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 514

Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 124

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 160