Nearly FMLs

By happyeaster - 27/03/2016 17:22 - United States - Brainerd

Today, on Easter, my sons father, who hasn't seen him more than 3 times in the 8 months he's been alive, informed me he will be fighting for custody. He is a 12 time felon and has no idea what my son even likes or how to take care of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 17:19 - Canada - Saint John

Today, my mom found out I am no longer a virgin. She flipped out and has decided I need to go to therapy for my "satanic behavior" or else she will no longer continue to help me financially in getting through school. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By ApplePorn - 27/03/2016 17:13 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, I was watching porn on TV in my room. Suddenly I heard my mom and my sister screaming in the living room. We have Apple TV and I had accidentally turned on the Airplay functionality which broadcasts what I'm watching on every single connected device. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 10

By parents.... - 27/03/2016 16:55 - Austria - Bad Hall

Today, my mum had a meltdown because I didn't bring her ice cream while she was sunbathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Didn't Know - 27/03/2016 16:54 - United States - New York

Today, I was at an Easter lunch at a restaurant and the 5 of us at the "big kid" table were talking about how we found out the Easter bunny wasn't real and apparently my 15 year old cousin didn't know and now we have an uncontrollably sobbing, 160 pound, jacked wrestler on our hands FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Spartancjm - 27/03/2016 16:26 - United States - Santee

Today, my girlfriend invited me to Easter breakfast with her family, who love me. She later uninvited me saying, "it's a family thing" and I understood that I shouldn't intrude. Her mom just texted me inviting me over. If I say no, I'll look rude to the family, if I go I'm an asshole to my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By RocketGirl92 - 27/03/2016 16:23 - United States - Miami

Today, after being sick the last couple days, realized I left my car window halfway down. This wouldn't normally be a problem, but it's been raining nonstop the whole time. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By LittleGina - 27/03/2016 16:03 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I got on the subway and I didn't grab the pole in time. When it started, I fell over, resulting in me grabbing an elderly lady's breasts to catch myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 15:50 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I began to experience both of the side effects my acne and irritated skin medication warned me about - the side effects of course being acne and irritated skin. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By dhdyvifjdksk - 27/03/2016 15:48

Today,I was replacing the fuel filter on my lawn mower while I was in side washing the gas off my hands I hear a loud FWOOM my sister had thoughtlessly flicked her cigarette into what she though was water, I no longer own a lawn mower,FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By myfriendssuck - 27/03/2016 15:46 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I found out all of my friends have created evil ways to kill me. Even my family and two teachers have laughed about my death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 15:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, the day before an important meeting about my masters thesis, I am sick with the flu. Why? Because my sister-in-law thought it was an awesome idea to bring a sick kid to easter lunch with 11 other people without any warning. They all knew I had this meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By thisisthestupid - 27/03/2016 15:05 - United States - Washington

Today, while 40 miles away for Easter my boyfriend went on suicide watch None of my family seems to think it's an important enough reason to take me home FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By simoneybee - 27/03/2016 14:44 - United States - Sandy Hook

Today, my boyfriend and I sat down to discuss if being long distance most of the year was still working. I came with a stack of handwritten letters outlining ways we could make long distance easier, and how badly I wanted to make the relationship work. He broke up with me anyways, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By eskiimoo - 27/03/2016 14:41 - United States - Washington

Today, my Mother-in-Law came into town. She thought it would be a good idea to fill my chocolate bunny with ghost pepper sauce. Not only was it hot, I'm also severely allergic to it. I'm now spending my Easter in the ER. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By nothinglefthere - 27/03/2016 14:35

Today, I am alone on Easter. My family decided to all go to Florida to see my cousin and her boyfriend so THEY wouldn't be alone on Easter. I couldn't afford the flight there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By debthereIcome - 27/03/2016 14:17 - United States

Today, I was sent an email with details about a scholarship I really wanted to apply for. I began to plan out my essays until I looked at the due date. The email was sent to me the day after the due date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ok then. - 27/03/2016 13:54 - Australia - Cammeray

Today, a girl who likes my current boyfriend texted me and asked how was the date we went on. I didn't tell her I was going on a date. I just blow it off as someone else telling her, to realise I've gotten 5 missed calls from a unknown number. They were all from her. I'm scared FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 13:53 - United States - Middletown

Today, I was out in the woods with my friends and I had to piss. I ended up wiping with a poison ivy leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By whattheactualfuckbabe - 27/03/2016 13:51 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up to an angry boyfriend. After much prodding, he finally told me that while I was sleeping, he went on my Snapchat "as me", flirted with one of my male friends to "see what he would do", and is now mad at me because they flirted back. Yeah, I'm just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Denise1988 - 27/03/2016 13:40 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I brought my 7 year old son his breakfast and turned to walk away when he said "Hey, Mom?" I replied "What is it, sweetie?" To which he replied "Those pants make your butt look big!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By single pringle - 27/03/2016 13:37 - United States - Amesbury

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he told me my haircut made me "look like a dike" and that he "would hate looking at me every day". But don't worry, he still " loves me for who I am, there's just no more physical attraction". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By IsJailSoBad? - 27/03/2016 13:15 - United States - Durango

Today, my roommates complained about me doing laundry because they pay a third of the bills. I pay a third and barely use any water. I can't take a shower or do one load of laundry without a complaint about how I ruined their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By queerdragon - 27/03/2016 13:00 - United States - Redlands

Today, I found out the guy I have been sleeping with is also sleeping with my sister. I found out when she introduced him to the family at Easter Dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By jazzyjay17 - 27/03/2016 12:10 - United States - Lake Worth

Today, Someone in the house hid the remote to the fans to save power AND the AC is broken so it's about 90 degrees in the house, so I went and bought a fan. This morning the knob was broken off my fan and hidden... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:08 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I started to tell the girl I like, who's a very good friend of mine, that "I actually really like-" only to be interrupted by her saying "Oh no". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By onlyworker - 27/03/2016 11:54 - United States - Spencer

Today, I'm getting a puppy and I told my girlfriend that I like dogs more than most people. She responded by saying that I better go ahead a move myself into the dog house to which I said "the company would definitely be better". It's just me and the dog now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 2

By wtfdude - 27/03/2016 11:51 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from her grandfather's house.. He'd shaved her head. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Pay4MyStuff - 27/03/2016 11:44 - United States - Lake Mary

Today, my in-laws and parents came over for Easter dinner. While they were here they managed to break my couch, table, a window, and the air conditioner. They won't pay for any of it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By MrLonelyHertz - 27/03/2016 11:43

Today, after setting several different alarm, starting from 10:15pm all the way to 11:00pm in order to get to work on time, I somehow managed to wake up at midnight, making it into work 15 minutes late. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 431

You deserved it 12 902

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 887

You deserved it 7 078

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 3 963

Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 782

You deserved it 7 140

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 171

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 364