Teachers

I hate my job

By norestforthewicked - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend's deaf and senile cat listens to my verbal instructions better than my completely healthy middle school students listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 999

You deserved it 735

Never sneak up

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 14:01

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 890

Some people don't belong in education

By Panagiotis - 02/10/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, we had a substitute teacher. She was taking attendance and had trouble pronouncing my last name. When I corrected her, I heard her mutter under her breath about, “Goddamn Mexican immigrants…” I’m from Greek ancestry, born in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 149

Read the room

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 22:00

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 539

Barely legal

By nikki - 04/01/2022 23:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my biology teacher subscribed to my OnlyFans. This wouldn’t be weird if the last time I saw or spoke to him wasn't my freshman year of high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 1 970

Sorry…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 763

You deserved it 73 495

America, hell yeah brother

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 23:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 342

You deserved it 8 350

High hopes

By Anonymous - 28/02/2011 00:29 - United States

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I'd just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said, "You don't have to lie, some people just aren't cut out for college. There's no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 858

You deserved it 2 964

Disappointing

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 12:00

Today, I bumped into a former teacher, one who spent many many weeks helping me get into university so I could become a psychologist. I had to see the look of disappointment on her face when I told her I got pregnant freshman year, and became a stay at home mom with a part time job at Tesco’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 402

Unfair

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 04:01

Today, I had to do a presentation. No one else in my group showed up, so I had to do it alone. I was given a failing grade for presenting by myself, and therefore not being a "team player". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 70

The pervs win again

By Thanks for nothing, assholes. - 08/07/2022 01:59

Today, we received the answer to a report we filed against a calculus teacher from our high school, who was sexually harassing several girls from our group, most of them still underage. They won't sack him because he's a tenure teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 132

Whatever it is, it's not enough

By mother of an idiot - 09/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my second-grade daughter asked her teacher how much money she makes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 212

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 050

You deserved it 11 944

By Yocherrypicker - 29/07/2016 01:04

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 220

You deserved it 5 979

Bad influence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 440

You deserved it 12 019

Jeremy

By alicia75 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elkhart

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 606

You deserved it 3 637

I want to speak to the manager of this school

By WHYYY - 20/04/2023 10:00

Today, I accidentally fell asleep in class due to a new medication I’ve started. My teacher also thought it would be funny to blow an air horn in my ear in front of everyone, scaring me half to death. I’m currently pissed off while waiting to take this up with administration as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 288

Book smarts

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 16:19 - United States - South Sioux City

Today, my teacher marked a test question wrong, even though I was sure I got it right, so I went online to check. I found a government-approved website showing proof that my answer was correct. My teacher still counted it wrong, because, "We follow the book." That book's older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 876

You deserved it 899

Lose-lose

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 503

You deserved it 8 024

Good riddance

By W H A T - 30/03/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out my favorite teacher didn't actually "retire" last year like she said to me. She was quietly fired after saying that, "Women who dress provocatively in public are asking to be r*ped" to a class full of teenage girls. I can't believe I used to idolize this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 259

Teacher bust out the sad smiley face

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Belmont

Today, I got my multivariable calc final back, only to realize that the ten points I got off was for putting 10 + 15 = 35 on a problem. My teacher wrote ten question marks and “No???? 25???? :(“ next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 391

Jump

By Petitprof - 12/11/2010 18:23 - France

Today, someone in my class wrote, "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I'm always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 316

You deserved it 5 348

Drunk with power

By fannylover - 18/02/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 163

You deserved it 3 042

Underfunded and underappreciated

By lrn2spel, teach - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mogadore

Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate, and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 094

You deserved it 4 695

OK?

By Habit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 201

You deserved it 10 310

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 253

You deserved it 12 254

You gotta learn

By duh - 27/01/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302

You deserved it 26 930

The Teaching Life

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 04:59 - United States - San Jose

Today, being incredibly ill after my second COVID shot, I called in sick for maybe the third time in 10 years (I teach). That didn’t stop parents from calling and messaging to scream at me because they weren’t happy. I had to drag myself out of bed and do work in between throwing up. I feel even worse now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 219

Unfair failing

By Mistakes were made - 25/10/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, while I was taking a test in class, there was a question that had everyone stumped. After what seemed like forever, the teacher finally noticed and said he'd typed the question wrong. I spent more than half the time I had to complete the test on a question that wasn't even written correctly. Yes, I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 463

Chuds everywhere

By satanworshipper - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Hollywood

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 686

You deserved it 2 849

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The Top

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 603

You deserved it 2 044

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 273

You deserved it 32 038

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 295

You deserved it 2 920

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 533

You deserved it 65 444

Today, I performed for the first time at someone's wedding. When the music started, I heard a click. Slowly, I felt my strapless bra drop lower and lower due to my non-existent breasts. The hook on my bra had broken at that very moment on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 955

You deserved it 765

Today, my mom told me my aunt was coming over. I told her I might have to work, and would be sad to miss her. My mom said, "Or, you know, if you're not there, it might be nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 263