Scary

Rollercoaster ride of emotions

By He's ok, nobody died, all is good - 20/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to my dad's workplace because my sister was there and I wanted to see my newborn niece. I was overjoyed until my dad came up to me. It had apparently been pretty hectic for the past week, because he was on the verge of another stress-induced heart attack. Yes, another. We had to help him outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 88

I'm not going out there

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 349

You deserved it 4 103

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 634

Sensory deprivation

By Trisha - 07/10/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 703

Freaked out

By DomesticPatrol - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I just patrolled my entire house with a fucking hammer and flashlight because my cat stepped on a fucking creaky floorboard. It's 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 910

You deserved it 1 967

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 249

Is this a joke?

By phantomdriver - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge… while we were crossing a river. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 3 688

Blacked out

By Darkness, Darkness - 18/11/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, I was awoken at the ungodly hour of 1 a.m. to find that everything was very dark and quiet. It took me way more time than I'd like to admit to figure out that there was a blackout. As I tried to doze off again, I was jump-scared by the sound of everything coming on again. This happened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 161

Spooked

By chrskr13 - 28/07/2023 12:00 - Denmark - Soborg

Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because I saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 822

Tippi Hedren vibes

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 103

What a freak

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 20:00

Today, a manager mistook me for an employee because I was wearing a shirt I bought from that shop. He was yelling at me for not working and tried to grab me to stop me leaving. I had to punch him in the nose to get free, and as I ran he actually shouted that I was fired. I’ve never worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 104

The fear

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I was going through my Facebook feed when I saw a post of a man being wheeled to the emergency room with a spider stuck in their ear. The post has me scared enough to want to sleep with earplugs. I'm a 37 year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 147

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 92

Phantom of the bus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 00:02

Today, I have a facial scar from an accident, it's large but not disfiguring. A guy on the bus asked if I could turn away because it was scaring his kid (the kid wasn’t even paying attention) so I told him to screw off, but people started agreeing with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 104

Supernatural

By rongo12 - 11/05/2012 21:41

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 6 862

Wouldn't hurt a…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 863

You deserved it 4 245

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 831

You deserved it 55 097

Woof!

By NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - 23/01/2023 01:30 - United States

Today, I was walking to my room. My friend's dog, who has always seemed to hate me for no reason, let out the loudest bark he could muster the moment he saw me. Not only did he scare the absolute fuck out of me, he also made me drop my pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 161

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 00:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 186

Podcasters need to be stopped

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 345

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 20/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 119

Bad guy

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 00:00

Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 83

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 021

You deserved it 7 368

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 133

You deserved it 3 836

Close shave

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 15:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I was almost hit by a bus, missing me by a few centimetres, and only because I jumped back the moment I heard its horn. I was using the zebra crossing, and the lights were green for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 139

Social parasites

By wasp infestation - 03/10/2016 04:54 - United States - Aurora

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 1 031

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 4 135

There goes the neighborhood

By Lorky - 08/05/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from the office of the apartment complex I moved into two months ago. Apparently, a woman a few apartments down from mine was murdered. Time to pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 152

Domestic bliss

By Emma - 08/12/2015 17:23 - United States

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 321

You deserved it 1 584

What did you expect?

By parasheeeet - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Birmingham

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 20 919

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 176

Today, I started packing up the flat I have been renting. As I took a picture off the wall I also ripped half the wallpaper. That's my deposit gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 653

You deserved it 1 677

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 317

You deserved it 4 587

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 129

Today, my dad stumbled home drunk at closing time and woke the whole house with a bang by attempting to heat a tin of baked beans in the microwave, without removing the beans from the tin first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 115

Today, I fell asleep with my new iPad on my chest, so when I woke up and pushed my duvet off me, the iPad went flying off me and broke on the floor. It’s my first ever iPad, my mom bought it for me for high school and I’ve only had it a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 152