Relationship advice

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 09:00 - United States - New Philadelphia

Today, I realized my love life is a mess. I’ve been married for nine years, having an affair with a good friend for over a year, and I'm still in love with the boy who broke my heart years ago, and contacts me only when he is lonely. All three make me happy, but two of them are unable to commit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 538

Like spinning plates

By Neill - 15/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me once again after getting back together for two weeks. Just two weeks earlier, I was seeing a girl. I'd ended things with her to mend things with my ex. I hit the girl up on Facebook to ask her out. She now has a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 036

Quality time

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I realized the only time my boyfriend actually makes a little bit of time to see me is when I'm having a full mental breakdown/anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 153

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 28/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 132

Mystery man

By me. - 13/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the girls from my high school still think they are too cool to associate with me. They ignored/avoided me in high school, assuming I was too weird. We could have 96+ mutual followers from our class and I still only get accepted without a follow back. What have they heard about me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 543

No rizz whatsoever

By Ugly - 01/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, right now, I can say one thing for certain: Despite not knowing exactly what it means to be conventionally attractive, I still know for a fact I'm the exact opposite of that. People have told me that I look homeless. I shudder to think of how I'd look if I were actually homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 137

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 168

Seek help

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since his parents died in a crash, my husband is so petrified of his own eventual death that he's determined not to waste any time, even on sleep, and now only allows himself one REM cycle of sleep per night, around 90 minutes. He’s falling apart and refuses to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 88

Classic

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend invited me over because her husband was going to work. That bastard picked the PERFECT day to have the stomach flu and call out of work to come back home. I had to hide in the closet naked with blue balls for three hours until he fell asleep so I could sneak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 2 154

Time for a beer

By Nope - 17/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

Snap out of it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my significant other cares more about her drink and the TV than her kids and pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 118

The struggle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 215

Average Slowdive gig

By Vladymyr - 29/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I met in person a girl I’ve been talking to on Facebook Messenger. We went to a concert of a group we both like, then dinner, and had lots of fun. At the end of the night I realized she’s amazing as hell, and I’ve fallen in love. Our compatibility is unmatched. The problem is that I have a girlfriend of 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 524

Check out Hank Pecker's Chadvice

By electronjames - 10/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 261

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 106

Thoughts?

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I realized that I love my child's school resource officer and not the man that fathered my children. I don't know what to do about this. My oldest child can't stand his father and looks up to the school resource officer, while my youngest loves them both. I don't know what to do without hurting someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 666

What's wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I was seeing told me he only wants to be friends. Every guy I've dated in the last 10 years has lost interest after we've had sex for the first time, and nobody will tell me why or what I did wrong. I'm going to die alone and I don't even know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 219

Consent

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 209

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every girl i've ever been interested in will not text me back or follow up. I barely had any luck back in high school. I thought it would get better. Is this what dating is like in the mid-20's? FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 207

Weird encounter

By No date for me - 29/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 131

Third place

By Ali - 19/05/2025 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 835

Oh look, a big red flag!

By fmlmvlijthen - 29/09/2024 16:00 - Netherlands

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 157

What happens in work…

By Martyb - 24/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend works at my husband’s job. He calls her his “work wife.” I had no idea they worked together, nor the fact that he calls her that. I used her phone to call my husband and she has him as “Work Hubby” with a heart emoji. The worst part? They insist nothing is going on between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 162

Not so cosy now, huh?

By Homely - 09/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I let my best friend know how I feel about him, since I have developed feelings for some time. I let it all out, hyperventilating and crying, yet relieved that I finally got it off my chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I appreciate it and you’re a great friend, but you’re kinda too homely for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 165

Safe bet

By Hit-and-Run - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Juárez

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 3 290

Mixed signals

By Jazminn - 25/04/2024 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 059

Belief it or not

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 00:00

Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 299

Fumbled

By Dean - 23/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 700

Old timey

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 748

Mind games

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my ex texted me being all flirty and sexual and yet was never like that when we were together. Not long later, his new girlfriend messaged me saying, "Stop messaging my man, he doesn't want you back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 94

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The Top

Today, my electric razor broke down during shaving. So now I have a face which is shaved on the right hand side and has a beard on the left. I don't own blades, so I'll have to go to work looking like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 220

You deserved it 5 020

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 232

You deserved it 11 396

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 440

You deserved it 4 799

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 750

You deserved it 9 613

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 66 300

Today, I was attacked with the classic "I fucked your mom" joke. I calmly informed the troll that my mom is 51, obese, still married to my father after 20+ years, and, most importantly, had a life-saving hysterectomy when I was five. He still insisted that he did the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 1 256