Parents

Freudian

By Riley99 - 31/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 180

Karma

By Sorry mum - 30/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 866

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 266

Support act

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and for my entire childhood, my parents made me play the piano until I gave in and just learned to enjoy it somehow. Now, I actually have an opportunity to play professionally, and what did my parents say? “Don’t bother, musicians hardly ever make good money. Get a real job instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 79

Sounds like an FML commenter

By Megan M - 26/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I was extremely devastated, and was crying in my room. My mom told me that it’s not a reason to cry. Apparently, “There’s people out there without anything to eat, nowhere to live, and people dying of cancer - that’s a REAL reason to cry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 157

Growing old is a shipwreck

By Sad Son - 23/08/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my Mum. She has invited me to visit her before, but kept cancelling whenever I tried to arrange an actual visit. I finally went over anyway, only to find her in a soiled nappy, room in ruins, with kidney failure-induced dementia. Sometimes they hide it well over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 119

The protector

By Dad - 21/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 308

Miserable parenting style

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 68

Purple haze

By Not a good sign - 19/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom has fibromyalgia. Besides chronic pain, another common symptom of this is frequent brain fog. I realized just how bad it can be today when she asked ME, with complete seriousness, "How old am I?" I thought I'd misheard, but nope - that's exactly what she said. This is more of an FML for her, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 85

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 258

You deserved it 4 375

Age gap

By YoungBlood - 16/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that when my mum had introduced me to her boyfriend, it was right before his birthday, so she'd rounded his age up. For two years I thought he was seven and a half years older than me, when really he's actually six and a half years older. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 377

Control

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 22:00 - United States - New Smyrna Beach

Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 123

Manipulation

By Stephen - 12/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Fort Rucker

Today, I realized that I got set up by my narcissistic ex-fiancée. She'd planned to get pregnant by me, did, then halfway way through the pregnancy put a restraining order on me, and went MIA. Now I don't know anything about my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 152

What did you do?

By Wtmcisdis - 10/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Douglasville

Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 424

The struggle

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 215

Non-starter pack

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Huxley

Today, I'm in love with my best friend. We are intimate but live 24 hours away from one another. We had been discussing him moving closer to me, which was a recent turn of events and I was elated. We could finally be together… until some unexpected tragic news uncovered a kid he wasn't aware of. Now he's a single dad and staying put. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 137

Here's how I feel…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I love my parents, but I'm culturally obliged to support them. However, I always feel sad because I can't purchase and pursue what I want, because my finances will suffer. I feel like I cannot enjoy my life to the fullest. They think I have money all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 126

Golden child

By Ana - 31/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my mom proved to me that there was favoritism between me and my siblings. My mom made me use my money to buy everyone dinner, but when my brother wanted to buy himself food, my mom asked him if he was gonna buy me and our sister some too, he said, "No, I don’t want to" and she said, "That’s fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 111

Control

By Person - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that'll be happening on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 698

You deserved it 2 450

Love is sometimes just love

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was looking for proof that my dad’s much younger girlfriend is just a dumb gold digging slut looking for a payday. Turns out she has a PhD, owns her own home, and makes six figures. So what’s she doing with his old ass? FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 943

Be careful what you wish for

By lordoftheweird - 21/07/2024 00:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 101

Energy saving

By I can't win - 20/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 111

It's all about control

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my parents said they were cutting me off for saving a kitten's life and wanting to keep it. I am 40 years-old and don't get any money from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 69

Door knocking

By firewait - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 651

You deserved it 80 923

Crackers

By buryuntime - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paperwork. Later, she asked me, "What does caucasian mean?" I replied, "Why?" Apparently she didn't recognize the word, so she checked "Other" and wrote in "White". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 975

You deserved it 5 580

Caught in the middle

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife has a drinking problem. She's stopped drinking liquor but still drinks beer, and even though I work and make great money, we are always scraping by. I’m at the point of leaving but we have an almost three year-old and one year-old and I feel like I’m going to get screwed in divorce court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 111

Real Housewives coded

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 00:00 - India

Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 118

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Central Square

Today, while I was at work, the cops were called for a wellness check on me because I'd blocked my bio father for being a pedophile. He'd called them on me, and I'm really embarrassed and upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 105

Role model

By Ryan - 12/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 207

Shortass

By Anonymous - 11/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 127

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The Top

Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 720

You deserved it 1 899

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 556

You deserved it 6 904

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 065

You deserved it 2 536

Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 5 046

Today, I got promoted. By promoted, I mean, given a much harder job with no training and no extra pay because someone went on maternity leave. They've already hired someone for my old position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 151

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 322