NSFW

Noisy lover

By Foxy17 - 05/08/2020 05:01

Spicy

Today, the new heart medication I take makes it hard for me to get an erection. It also gives me gas. My wife is getting sick of me farting when we're finally able to screw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 168

Role play

By CantPublish - 12/04/2012 17:54 - United States - Modesto

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 21 949

Kinda cute

By anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Spicy

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 451

You deserved it 26 034

Still got game

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 12:52 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 499

You deserved it 2 155

Perverted justice

By Anonymous - 23/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I pretended to be a little girl on social media, just for fun. All I got was a random guy who sent me a direct message and asked me to send a photo of my private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 612

Wrong door

By apavies444 - 28/11/2010 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents' bedroom by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 184

You deserved it 45 217

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 138

TMI

By Grossedouttt - 04/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 537

You deserved it 3 742

Proud dad

By Not a proud dad - 08/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 81

Under pressure

By Ew blood - 16/04/2026 15:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 114

Intense heat

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 609

You deserved it 29 691

Bad boy

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 489

You deserved it 4 860

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 501

You deserved it 14 525

Manipulation

By Hurt - 15/05/2026 12:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Spicy

Today, I checked my husband's phone, as mine was dead. When I opened it, I saw a text conversation with his friend. He recently said, "Man you just gotta ignore your wife more. I stopped paying so much attention to mine and next thing I knew she was all over me, it's awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 262

Thanks, but no thanks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 127

To catch a perv'

By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 19:05 - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Spicy

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 510

You deserved it 12 026

Foundations

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 110

POLICE! OPEN UP!

By Obee - 14/04/2009 14:05 - Canada

Spicy

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 386

You deserved it 27 558

You learn something new every day

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Concord

Spicy

Today, after 40+ years of marriage, I got Peyronie's disease. Thankfully, the missus is understanding. After months of treatment, the painful bend is a bit less so, but the scar tissue that causes the bend also does not expand. Because of this, I have lost a full 5 cm / 2 inches in length when erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 90

Nothing?

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 78

On a promise

By Brian - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 563

By Jenn - 24/09/2017 16:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Spicy

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 354

You deserved it 651

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01

Spicy

Today, I found out I only exist because my parents hated each other. They both worked in the same office and despised each other, until they had a hate-fuck in a storeroom after a blazing argument, resulting in me. I exist due to sex fuelled by hatred and lust. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 217

Cool down

By Bruises - 18/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend picked me up during sex and set me on his shoulders, with his face buried in my pussy. I loved it until he took a step and put my face right in the path of the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 124

Better luck next time

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 14:30

Spicy

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 339

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 10 333

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 04:22

Spicy

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 226

You deserved it 2 382

By not even - 21/07/2016 11:20 - United States - Troy

Spicy

Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in three months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 2 784

Nice guy

By Twysted91 - 28/12/2014 03:50 - United States - Milford

Spicy

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 095

You deserved it 3 214

Mission accomplished

By Lovestupid - 03/11/2009 09:25 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 144

You deserved it 29 352

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The Top

The Top

Today, not even 10 minutes into my job as a student teacher, I've had one student wipe boogers on me, another pee their pants, and a third won't stop crying for his mother. This is my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 175

You deserved it 1 846

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 004

You deserved it 7 221

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 621

You deserved it 9 414

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 121

You deserved it 2 204

Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 13 025

Today, I found out that my brother has been stealing money from me for the past five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 108