NSFW

Thanks, but no thanks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 123

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 498

You deserved it 14 525

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 20:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 109

Pervert!

By Faith - 05/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I caught my neighbor peeping through his toilet window to watch my sister bathing in our bathroom. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was doing what he always does when my sister is bathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 59

Nice try, bucko

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 780

You deserved it 8 510

Under pressure

By Ew blood - 16/04/2026 15:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 106

That was short-lived.

By adc2502 - 02/02/2018 11:00

Spicy

Today, after getting my first debit card, I spent £60 on porn online. My mum made me print off a statement at the ATM as she wanted to know where my money had gone. She saw everything and cut up my card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 8 631

Season 3 claims another victim

By Bless - 24/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching Euphoria’s new season and my mom barged in without knocking to ask me something. At that precise moment, a very explicit sex scene came on. She threw a bitch fit, tore up my prom ticket and told me that I ever lose my virginity while living under her roof, she’ll kick me out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 92

Not now!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked into the bedroom to find my wife naked, bent over the bed, swaying her cheeks back and forth at me, so what else was I to think? Instead of some good loving, all I got was a shouting and a lecture that just because she’s naked doesn’t mean she’s after sex. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 107

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 131

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 20:00 - United States - Alvarado

Spicy

Today, I've been on a dating site for a while and I'd been doing great. Then I got really fucking drunk and sent messages like I wanted to eat their shit while it was coming out. One of them reported me and I got booted. I have decided to drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 1 136

Saucy talk

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 032

You deserved it 7 886

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 27/05/2024 14:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, the cops had to be called while my boyfriend and I were hanging out with some friends of ours. It all started when one of them said that he would kill himself if I didn't "just end your fucking relationship already, and date me instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 108

Classic manipulation

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 470

Role play

By CantPublish - 12/04/2012 17:54 - United States - Modesto

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 148

You deserved it 21 945

Not like that!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the universe smiled upon me and my longtime fantasy of seeing someone I know appear in an adult film finally came true. However, as a straight guy, I should have been more specific: I was hoping to see a woman I know appear in an adult film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 215

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 942

You deserved it 10 332

Rekt thread

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 06:00

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 155

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 460

You deserved it 3 250

Ignorance never dies

By Racist ass - 22/08/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Spicy

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 178

By not even - 21/07/2016 11:20 - United States - Troy

Spicy

Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in three months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 674

You deserved it 2 783

Saucy

By donutsex - 05/08/2014 16:48 - United States - Georgetown

Spicy

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 296

You deserved it 9 086

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 928

Needs

By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 781

Snitches get stiches

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my so-called son told me that I'm never going to see my grandchildren again because I caught him cheating on his wife (in MY home and in MY bed!) and ratted him out to her so now they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 79

SHUT UP

By Noname - 22/01/2009 08:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 077

You deserved it 2 558

The body keeps the score

By Sold my soul for 5000 - 26/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 604

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

Spicy

Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 112

Anger management classes going well?

By Fuckrs - 15/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, not only did my deadbeat brother mooch off me for six months, wreck my car, and screw my wife, he just successfully sued me for the medical bills he incurred when I caught them and beat him within an inch of his life. Twelve fucking grand in debt. I should have just stabbed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 154

Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 275

FML on Facebook

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The Top

The Top

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 618

You deserved it 3 994

Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 870

You deserved it 3 334

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 976

You deserved it 339 376

Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 171

You deserved it 258

Today, my 15 year-old daughter has been with her boyfriend for about a year. I really wish they would break up. Not for the typical father reasons. My daughter is just like her mother, my ex. She’s clinically depressed and hides it well. He’ll be miserable just like I was. The breakup would be for him not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 403

Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 180