By notpreggo - 01/05/2017 12:00
By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00
By Annoyed student - 29/04/2017 04:00
By DaycareMama92 - 28/04/2017 16:00
By Amk - 28/04/2017 07:00 - United States - Fayetteville
By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00
By mudy247 - 27/04/2017 20:00
By ldemosthenous - 26/04/2017 15:03
By "senordonkeydildo" - 26/04/2017 05:00 - United States - Center Conway
senordonkeydildo tells us more.
WTF ref'?!
By SaltIsReal - 25/04/2017 00:00
By katinka - 24/04/2017 18:11
attak_fml tells us more.
Hey guys! OP here. First of all: yay, one of my submissions finally made it! So, to clear some things up: 1. The fml is obviously about me being embarrassed to death that this happened. I wanted to make a good first impression and I was so nervous and I forgot to put the cup away. It's defiantly not about me thinking she made an unreasonable request or anything. 2. The cup was emptied and thoroughly cleaned. I had left it on the edge of the sink to dry off before putting it away and I accidentally forgot about it. She saw that and was fine with touching it, so it wasn't really something disgusting, just a very, very unfortunate thing to happen on our very first day of living together. 3. This happened a while ago, and neither I or my roomie think it's a big deal. We're both fine with, you know, women occasionally not covering up all evidence of having their period once in a while. It was just incredibly embarrassing and awkward when it happened, but now we're all good! :) Cheers!
By Languages - 24/04/2017 09:58 - United States - Irving
Exaspera tells us more.
OP here. What a surprise, my first published FML! Being a Mexican restaurant, all of the employees there were Mexican. I try to keep up on my Spanish and wanted to know the translation. This one turned out to be rather easy to remember. Cheers!
By James - 23/04/2017 02:00
Pizza party
By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00
By I hear everything... - 22/04/2017 18:00
By cydia123 - 21/04/2017 11:44 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield
jellythecutie tells us more.
Hey guys OP here and FINALLY got an fml published! Phoned them again yesterday at a more appropriate time and they just told me due to high emergency volume to phone tomorrow (as in today). If they don't cancel it today, I will go ape shit as they're still billing me :) thanks everyone!
By Craig Thompson - 20/04/2017 21:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol
By Whoneedsgradschool - 20/04/2017 20:00
Something smells fishy.
By Anonymous - 19/04/2017 22:00
Rare find
By whywasitthere - 19/04/2017 09:00 - United States - New Braunfels
By NotSatan - 19/04/2017 14:00
By Tanny - 19/04/2017 04:00
By MWSL01 - 18/04/2017 05:50 - United States - Duluth
William Sever tells us more.
To clarify, I was born in a foreign country and adopted at less than a month old. My parents are both US citizens. I was never naturalized.
By cookyourowndamndinner - 17/04/2017 06:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton
By ShitHappens2016 - 16/04/2017 18:00
By Anonymous - 16/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Philadelphia
By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh
OK Gus
By MartianTom - 14/04/2017 07:00 - United States - Evanston
By Duellist - 13/04/2017 02:00
Keywords
Wow! I can't believe this got posted so fast. I only posted it like 3 days ago. Let me just inform you all that I made it out, SAFE and with UNBROKEN doors. I texted a buddy of mine and he came and got me out, but not before making me listen to him tell me a plethora of gay jokes. It was worth it though because after I came out of the closet (ha ha) we had some beers and played video games for a few hours. And to answer some peoples' concerns, my girlfriend and I prank each other a lot. She pranks me more often than I prank her. Or she tries. I go for stelth and try to wait and do something when she thinks I've forgotten about or war or when least expects it. Obviously I peaked myself this time, but just wait. :)