Love

No kinkshaming!

By Yuck - 31/12/2024 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boyfriend told me that I'm "almost" his perfect woman, and that if I wanted to be the perfect woman, I needed to start eating his ass. Yeah, no. See you never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 278

That one move that impresses all the guys

By Claire - 31/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 485

Mystery shutdown

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 168

Kinda cruel

By Anon E. Mouse - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Waterville

Today, my ex told me about how much the person she left me for loves the lingerie I bought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 465

You deserved it 2 315

Daddy issues

By Tom - 28/12/2024 18:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I ended a relationship because she told me that I was "like a father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 143

Man flu

By Anonymous - 28/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I'm horribly sick with a stomach bug. My wife insists on yelling for my help every fifteen minutes, saying, "If you want kids, you better get used to this. They don't just go away when you're sick." When she's sick, however, she expects to be treated like a princess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 149

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 27/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 132

Shooting yourself in the foot

By Maryse - 27/12/2024 18:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I randomly hooked up with a hot guy, just to ruin it by saying he’s like my twin brother, and now he won’t reply to my messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 642

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, my boyfriend phoned me at work and broke up with me. Why, you ask? A boy I was semi-seeing about a year ago decided to show my boyfriend's best friend a video of him fucking some girl and said it was me, and that I cheated on my boyfriend. At the end of day, he believes it's not me, but WTF is going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 140

Girls' trip, baby!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my I told my girlfriend I was owed an explanation as to why I've been ghosted since her "Girls' trip" out of state. She said she just didn't want to deal with me being upset about her snapping a guy she spent the two days with, and they were all over each in a picture she tried to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 101

Revelation

By Andrea Marie McNeil - 26/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out during my eleventh year anniversary with my husband that he was cheating on me with his recently deceased friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 80

Red flag

By WalkingOnEggshells - 25/12/2024 21:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the man I've liked for so long asked me out on a date. Three years ago I fell for him and he denied me unless I "lost 100lbs” Now I've lost about 85lbs (not because of him, but for myself) and he wants to give me the time of day. I still like him, but I feel like I have to watch my weight to keep him if I say “Yes.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 529

Tipsy

By Jenny - 25/12/2024 16:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 702

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 440

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!

By Hoe, hoe, hoe - 24/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my ex posted a rant on Facebook about how much he hates this time of year. He ended it with "and now the bitch broke up with me two days before Christmas." He conveniently left out the part where "the bitch" caught him having sex with another woman last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 95

Smells like defeat

By Sad girl - 23/12/2024 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went to a party and met a guy who was super charming. We hit it off, and he seemed really into me. After talking for a while, he leaned in for a kiss, and I thought, "This is it!" But instead of a kiss, he just sniffed my hair, then said, "Wow, you smell just like my mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 109

Bring your A game

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 481

Puppy love

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave my crush my number in a note that said "Read in private." Not only did she read it in front of her friends, she also laughed at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 231

Cynicism is exhausting

By Lonesome Traveler - 23/12/2024 07:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, some idiot kid teased and taunted me for weeping on my "already bad performance", recording it on his phone threatening to put it on social media. I was singing and playing the guitar, in front of my childhood sweetheart, and supposedly soon-to-be wife's grave. It was our song. I do this every year on this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 126

Cool story

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, on our twelfth wedding anniversary, my wife fell asleep at a fine dining restaurant table within seconds of asking me about my exciting job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 103

My time of need

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 13:00 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend got annoyed with me for being really needy and clingy lately. I'm doing it because I was sexually assaulted last week, but I'm just not ready to tell him that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 244

The void

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 294

Are you OK?

By ??? - 22/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my husband started taking language classes. Not something sensible like French or Spanish, but fucking Latin! Why the fuck would anyone learn Latin? What a stupid fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 1 168

Rainy day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 056

You deserved it 7 924

Run for the hills

By Anonymous - 21/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Port Ludlow

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years won’t marry me until all my debts are paid off, which will take me 10 to 12 years to do. To add insult to injury, he’s been using intimacy as part of a reward system for me, and no matter how hard I try to earn it and as much as I initiate like he wants, he keeps turning me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 482

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 4 974

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 06:00 - United States - Holden

Today, I had to use my husband's vehicle. He has been spiraling into a mean, bigoted man. I got into his vehicle and the radio was on a station that was spewing weird stereotypes of women, and making fun of anyone who is not a hard supporter of a certain orange politician/businessman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 291

Unloveable

By keerah - 19/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I came to find out that each person I've ever dated was either set up by my dad or by my sister. I'm fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 138

Moment of self-realization

By Bad fiancee - 19/12/2024 23:00 - Romania

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 612

Drunken truth

By Anonymous - 19/12/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 1 034

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 356

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 837

You deserved it 4 910

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 570

You deserved it 3 392

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 775

Today, I was asked to leave a party because apparently I was a buzzkill. It was my party, for my birthday, at my house. All my friends and relatives basically sent me to my room for being too tired to party, so they could get pissed in my front room and pillage my fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 211

Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 144