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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Healthy Lifestyle

    Don't mind me

    By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 619
    You deserved it 4 364
    Share  

    Irony at a base level

    By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

    Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 368
    You deserved it 7 392
    Share  

    Sexy time

    By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 521
    You deserved it 59 477
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    Keywords

    Embarrassing Work Money Divorce Education Health Miscellaneous Relatable Sports Love Abuse Kids Annoying Hospital Wanker Intimacy Addiction Management Language DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Cooking Coworkers Anniversary Transportation Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 340
    You deserved it 4 954
    Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 152
    You deserved it 35 136
    Today, I went to apply for classes at a college my parents signed me up to do dual credit with. Too bad they used my sister's social security number so I don't get credit for my old classes and my new application got thrown out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 031
    You deserved it 244
    Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 218
    You deserved it 335
    Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 835
    You deserved it 152
    Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 539
    You deserved it 101
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