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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Birds

    Sky the killer

    By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

    Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 108
    You deserved it 8 057
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    New creepypasta just dropped

    By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

    Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 89 542
    You deserved it 4 388
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    Love Anniversary Divorce Awkward Transportation Cars Health Relatable Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Technology Money Work Coworkers Ironic Embarrassing Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family
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    Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 297
    You deserved it 7 445
    Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding, "Yes! Of course I will come!" After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, two ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 91 212
    You deserved it 5 766
    Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 53 485
    You deserved it 4 855
    Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 061
    You deserved it 3 302
    Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 5 116
    You deserved it 456
    Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 984
    You deserved it 81
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