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    : 320



    Chilling

    Anonymous - 25/01/2026 03:00

    Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML
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    Bad start, bad end

    Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
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    It's not just men

    WTF - 05/01/2026 15:00

    Today, as we were discussing our plans for 2026, I suggested we go vegan as it's healthier and better for the planet. My husband said, "Ask me to go vegan again and I'll have divorce papers for you the next day." Why? Why are men so adamantly opposed to veganism? FML
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    Moving on fast

    Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML
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    Technologically challenged

    Anonymous - 14/01/2026 12:00

    Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML
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    A cute one for a change

    We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

    Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
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    Fair is fair

    Loss - 21/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML
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    You do it

    Anonymous - 23/01/2026 09:00

    Today, I’m a supervisor who swore 50-hour weeks were “the minimum.” My team preferred having lives, I missed my quota, and my $10,000 bonus vanished. FML
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    Traumatic

    Anonymous - 26/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML
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    Seasonal depression

    - 27/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML
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    I'm your man

    Anonymous - 31/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I had a fourth and final round interview for a well paying job for which I'm very qualified that I need because my own business in the same field fell off a cliff after 15 straight successful years. The woman who interviewed me hated me from the start and lied about my analysis on simple things in her report. I didn't get the job. FML
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    Nutrition expert over here

    Dog - 02/01/2026 03:00

    Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
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    Gimme a human

    I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML
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    Let this be a reminder

    Anonymous - 11/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I found out that, despite the emails being completely different and not having Prime Video, my free trial on Apple TV somehow got charged to my family's Amazon account. The good news is I was able to cancel the subscription and get a refund for the month. Bad news is the sub was for 7 months. I paid back $80. FML
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    ADHD brain

    Anonymous - 12/01/2026 20:00

    Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML
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    Memories…

    Anonymous - 14/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML
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    Not your problem

    Anonymous - 16/01/2026 09:00

    Today, I saw a good friend beg and crawl back to her controlling girlfriend who treats her like a child for the umpteenth time, even after herself acknowledging that she got mistreated. I don't know what else to do to help her, or if I even should. FML
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    Parenting is tough

    Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML
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    Happy birthday, huh?

    - 19/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I told my family that for my birthday I didn’t want to do any chores and just wanted the house cleaned. What they heard was mom won’t do chores today so let’s leave them all for her tomorrow. I didn’t even have a clean mug for coffee this morning. FML
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    Just for a day

    - 23/01/2026 12:00

    Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML
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    Nice guy

    HateCelebz - 27/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML
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    Who am I?

    Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
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    The cycle

    Anonymous - 31/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my body has always been in a perfect cycle. The week after my ovulation, I start getting (in order, on a daily basis) dryness, itching, low energy, depression, manic mood swings, loss of appetite, bloating, and finally, when the back pain comes, my period. It all hit me in one day. Why? FML
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    Cool

    Shirly - 04/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
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    I'm a goober

    Louis - 07/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I decided to clean my entire apartment. While vacuuming, I sucked up something big. I didn’t realize what it was until later when I couldn’t find my engagement ring. I digged through a vacuum bag full of dust, crumbs, and mystery hair, only to realize it was on my finger the whole time. FML
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    It's too cold for this shit

    Anonymous - 09/01/2026 09:00

    Today, some absolute scumbucket cut the straps of the cover I put over my windscreen, so this morning it was completely iced over. It only delayed me by about 10 minutes but still… what a shitty thing to do to someone first thing in the snowy morning. FML
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    What would you do?

    Lisania - 11/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
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    Probably

    Brittany - 12/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I caught my husband making out with our nanny. I had hired her in the first place because I didn’t see her as a threat. She’s 19 year-old chubby girl with glasses. Is he out of his goddamn mind? FML
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    Let's not keep in touch

    Welp - 16/01/2026 12:00

    Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML
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    Weird

    Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

    Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was riding the bus. Suddenly, it appeared to start to snow inside the bus, and I assumed a window was open. When I looked up however, I discovered the girl in front of me putting her hair up in a ponytail. The so-called "snow" was coming off of her head. FML
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    Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
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    Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
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    Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML
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    Today, after receiving messages from a person or persons who supposedly have a crush on me, I've come to the realization that it's probably been one guy messaging me all along. I'm not even gay. FML
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    Today, the guy I met on Tinder texted me about our date tomorrow. He seemed nervous. I come to find out his mom overheard us talking on the phone and wants to meet me. I said OK, that’s not big deal. That’s when he told me that he’s actually 17. I now hate myself because I’m 26. FML
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