A cute one for a change

By We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 73

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

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Same thing different taste

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 176

You deserved it 54 793

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 975

You deserved it 1 755

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 7 338

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 809

By Autocorrected - 26/11/2012 20:13 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 491

You deserved it 3 395

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 6 608

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 591

You deserved it 4 191

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 320

You deserved it 8 150

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 105

You deserved it 3 726

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 001

You deserved it 15 628

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 18 January 2026 1:23

This isn't much of an FML, more like "fair's fair".

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The Top

Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 66

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 172

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 476

You deserved it 4 809

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost at the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 603

You deserved it 3 800

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 5 335

Today, I rode my brand new shiny bicycle to work for the first time. I didn’t have time to figure out how my new lock worked, so I changed the 0000 code to some combination just to find it locked as I came back. After watching a tutorial and trying for 30 minutes, I just cracked it with pliers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 499