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Mr Heckles

By soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 084

You deserved it 8 724

Shotgun wedding

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 053

You deserved it 4 748

My little boy

By stubble - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years-old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 295

You deserved it 3 545

FIRE!

By chinesef000d - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 339

You deserved it 3 246

Oh no…

By Lentil - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 621

You deserved it 4 035

Seniors!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 316

You deserved it 3 469

Paternity test

By that guy - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Atascadero

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 306

You deserved it 3 206

Free Parking!

By Superman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellflower

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 448

You deserved it 1 948

Freakout

By maf811 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 284

You deserved it 2 823

Get it on

By 0867142 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with five other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 401

You deserved it 2 460

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

By Dumbweed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 331

You deserved it 68 156

My little boy is all grown up

By Jax - 26/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 33

Next!

By Woooow - 27/02/2026 22:00

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 182

Art

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was at my job as a fitting room attendant and I checked a woman and her young son in. After several minutes, they left, saying there was lipstick on the mirror. Not only was it all over two mirrors, but also on the wall, the floor and the carpet. The whole place smelled of lip-balm and I was left to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 171

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 826

You deserved it 7 927

Nice try

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 9 381

Commited

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 86

It's called fashion

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 20:00

Today, I flew some 1,800km cross country for a work conference. The trip involved an Uber, two trains, the flight, a bus, and the conference itself. My shirt was inside out the whole time, and not one soul mentioned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 193

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 15:00

Today, I'm being called despicable, cruel, and heartless because I refused to take in my deceased sister's four kids, which resulted in them being put in separate foster homes. I'm 20, live in a tiny studio apartment, and attend college and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 84

Breeder

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 03:00

Today, hoping to earn some extra cash, I spent a fortune on a purebred pit bull so I could breed her. To my horror, the ad lied about her and she had already been spayed. When I tried to contact the seller to get my money back, they just replied, “Serves you right, backyard breeder” and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 964

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got reprimanded at work for calling off when I wasn’t sick. Apparently someone at the store saw me making online videos. What a great day to try starting my influencer brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 927

Breaking mom

By Fuck motherhood - 01/03/2026 03:00

Today, I'm so sick of being a mom. I have a screaming toddler and a squalling infant, tearing up the house and stinking up every room, and my husband still has the balls to not only be happy, but ask for ANOTHER. I'm about to walk, dump the kids with his smiley ass, and take his rich family's money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 472

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom announced that she's getting back together with my stepdad, who just got out of prison. He was in prison because he beat her, choked her, and caused her to have a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 61

Priorities

By L - 01/03/2026 12:00

Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 52

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 54

Oral relief

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 505

#BrokenMedicalSystem

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 09:00

Today, I found out that I have a chronic illness that has affected my brain function, heart and nervous system, and basically leaves me cognitively impaired daily and ruined my quality of life. Apparently it wasn’t just “all in my head” like so many neurologists claimed over the past two decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 46

Superman

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was made clear to me my baby brother has been letting me win all our fights, because I accidentally left my truck parking brake off so it started rolling down the street, and he caught it and dragged it to a full stop. That things weighs almost a tonne. I can’t fight him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 384

Ridiculous

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 12:00

Today, I was detained for 20 minutes by security for stealing shopping bags. I didn’t, I used my own bags-for-life, so he thought I didn’t pay for them. They were from a different shop entirely. Twenty fricking minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 7

Derpina

By No, I am NOT!!! - 27/02/2026 00:00

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 277

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 678

You deserved it 2 354

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 548

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 182

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say "Yes" or "No", instead of nodding your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 451

You deserved it 59 548

Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 782

You deserved it 5 842

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 524

You deserved it 2 376