Your everyday life stories

midwestfairy - 11/07/2016 23:40 - United States - Urbandale

Today, I got a note from my landlord saying I would be evicted if I didn't clean my house in 7days all because a maitnence guy saw a watermelon on the floor in the living room FML

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Mr Sexified - 11/07/2016 22:55 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, just after two days after a major surgery they are removing my PCA my Patient Controlled Analgesic drug delivery machine which I affectionately named Drug-E. Apparently I don't need it after major spinal surgery. FML

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MoroseMoose - 11/07/2016 21:59 - United States - El Paso

Today, my boyfriend and I saw his grandmother for the first time since we house sat for her. She pulled us aside and said that she found my lacy black underwear in the bed. She washed them for me. FML

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EnglishLover - 11/07/2016 21:02 - Canada - Petrolia

Today, I wasn't feeling good. I went to the bathroom and started feeling faint. I woke up a couple minutes later, on the floor, with my pants around my knees. I don't what's worse: my dad possibly finding me like that or the fact that he didn't hear me collapse. FML

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Confetti - 11/07/2016 20:39 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I took extra care when doing laundry with a pair of shorts with special washing instructions. When I pulled the shorts out, I realized that I had left a wad of tissues in the pocket. FML.

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Brokeniceguy - 11/07/2016 15:02 - United States

Today I found out my work is putting everybody on two months mandatory "vacation," because they can't afford to pay us. Yesterday I spent my entire pay check on a really nice gift for my mom's birthday. It's personalized so I can't take it back. FML.

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breeeanna - 11/07/2016 06:59 - United States - Columbia

Today,I caught my boyfriend cheating, he must have been in the middle of orgasming because when he saw me, he told me to get out so she could finish. FML

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HotMamaBBM - 11/07/2016 05:10

Today, I found out that my husband doesn't mention that he's married and flirts all day. How I found out through text messages on our iMac that he thought he deleted then to only accuse me of cheating all because I wanted a job where my ex works. Wth, FML

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Really - 11/07/2016 00:35

Today, my annoying neighbour tried twice to get herself invited over. I can't even avoid her because she lives in the condo below me and sees me on my patio anytime I want to go out there, FML.

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Sleeplessinthedesert - 10/07/2016 23:25

Today, as for the last three months, I suffer from insomnia. Just as I manage to fall asleep at 2am, my boss messages me to discuss my work progress. FML

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sugarlips - 10/07/2016 21:59

Today, an infected ulcer gone horribly wrong has made it look like I have some freakish strain of herpes on my mouth. FML.

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DeezNuts_1234 - 10/07/2016 21:36

Today, I realized that I dislike my parents so much that I sat around after work at my job for two hours to avoid going home. FML.

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grimdarkgirl - 10/07/2016 21:15

Today, I was playing Pokémon Go. I started walking down a hill to catch a Ponyta, but I fell down and sprained my ankle. The Ponyta got away. FML

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Seeyounarabish - 10/07/2016 18:38

Today, after Sunday mass, my sister points out a weird black mass underneath the lace of my dress. Perplexed, I looked down to inspect further and discover a wasp, under my boobs, attempting to build a nest. FML

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mohitoto - 10/07/2016 17:44

Today, a mosquito bit my junk, I'm allergic to mosquitoes, I can't masturbate for 5 months and my dick looks like a pool noodle. FML

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RachelRae - 10/07/2016 17:25

Today, I slept through numerous alarms because of some cold medicine I took last night. I was 2 hours late to work. It's my second day.

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UglyPieceOfShit - 10/07/2016 17:24

Today, I showed my younger brother a photo of me smiling. He laughed and told me it was getting better and atleast I tried... I asked what he meant and he told me my ugliness will get cured eventually. He is 7. FML

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perfect timing - 10/07/2016 17:00

Today, I developed plantar fasciitis. Every. Step. Burns. This wouldn't be a huge problem except for that my college orientation is tomorrow and I'll be forced to walk everywhere on the massive campus. FML

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bkl - 10/07/2016 13:16

Today, I placed my newfound baby bird outside in hopes it would feel better from the fresh air and sunshine. I came out 10 minutes later to find it roasted in the sun. FML

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BadLuckAlicia - 10/07/2016 12:16

Today, after 15 months without my period I finally got it. The only issue is I'm going on holiday tomorrow. FML

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Doesn'tMatterHadSex - 10/07/2016 11:33

Today, I threw caution to the wind and spent a romantic evening having sex on top of a mountain overlooking a beautiful panorama of a Turkish resort, with a very sexy massuse who kept telling me how beautiful I was. Shame I didn't notice the wedding band tan line until afterwards. FML

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Notdoingthatagain - 10/07/2016 07:35

Today, I finally hooked up with a coworker whom I've been having a crush on for a long time - while we're doing it, he literally screams another girls name. Turns out it was his fiancé's name and also that she is 6 month pregnant with their second child. FML

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Anonymous - 10/07/2016 06:40

Today, my boyfriend, his family, and I were playing Cards Against Humanity. The fill in the blank card was "I love..." One of the choice cards that I read aloud were "My sex life." My boyfriend blurted out, "Which is not good." We've been dating for 4 years and I thought our sex life was good. FML

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MysteryEC - 10/07/2016 03:07

Today, I had to miss the last day of summer school for a mandatory event I had to attend, but because I'm not allowed to miss more than 1 hour, I ended up losing the entire course's credits. FML

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Dragoness11 - 09/07/2016 23:29

Today, an elderly client covered in his own excrement tried to slap me across the face with a soiled pad. I don't get paid enough for this. FML.

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severelyconcussed - 09/07/2016 23:12

Today, my bf broke up with me for 'never' texting him. I haven't texted him or anyone in the past 48 hours as I've been trying to recover from getting kicked in the head by a horse. He knows this and says I should've made an exception. FML

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ScrewedforCollege - 09/07/2016 23:00

Today, my parents decided to let me know that they used "some" of the money that my grandparents left me to pay for my sister's wedding, where it was supposed to be for all of my college costs. By "some" I mean all of it. Classes start this fall. FML

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Anonymous - 09/07/2016 22:55

Today, my mom walked in on me in the bathroom, naked, massaging my crotch with a towel. She later gave me a long lecture on the evils of masturbation. I wasn't masturbating, I was drying off after a nice shower. FML

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sszebrat - 09/07/2016 21:14

Today, I got to see my dad rub sunscreen on my stepmom's boobs. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't started making noises. FML

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OfficialTamponUser - 09/07/2016 19:40

Today, I am 26 years old and have never used a tampon before. After inserting it incorrectly and walking around with it in like that for half the day, I only found success through receiving detailed instructions and pictures from a friend through Snapchat. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

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Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

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Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

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Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

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Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

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Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

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